Other Wishful Thinking Works posts you might enjoy . . .
Remembering friends real and otherwise
Where are you sitting on the tree of life?
For Wishful Thinking Works services that can enrich your life, click here.
“Caregivers Choose Hope”
May 13, 2013 — Patrice
Today’s post, “Caregivers Choose Hope” was written by my amazing friend Melissa, who lost her husband to cancer a number of years ago. The words are hers, their intent is universal – hope and help are the key to dealing with many life situations. Melissa wrote them as part of her activities for this past Friday’s Relay for Life in Fort Myers, Florida.
It is truly my honor to be able to share them with you. (Please note the photo in this post is not the one Melissa used, I didn’t have hers, but thought this one shared her kind and caring ways.)
“For the Relay event, I have put together a handout. The tips are printed on purple paper and each one has a second page attached. It is a large hand print outline. With each packet there is a small ribbon magnet that says ‘Caregivers Choose Hope’.
The purpose of the hand print is for someone to write on the hand something they will do for a caregiver. They can then present the packet to the person. Or, a caregiver may take the packet and write something they NEED for someone to do. They can acknowledge it is okay to ask for help. Then taking the next step, they can share their need with whomever they are comfortable.
Caregiver Support Tips
As a Caregiver you may find yourself facing new responsibilities; many of which are unfamiliar or intimidating. You may feel overwhelmed and alone. But despite its challenges, care giving can also be rewarding. And, there are a lot of things you can do to make the care giving process easier for both you and your loved one. These tips can help you get the support you need while caring for someone you love.
Tip 1: Accept your feelings
Care giving can trigger many difficult emotions, including anger, fear, resentment, guilt, helplessness, and grief. It’s important to acknowledge and accept what you’re feeling. Don’t beat yourself up over your doubts. These feelings don’t mean that you don’t love your family member—they simply mean you’re human. In order to deal with your feelings, it’s important to talk about them. Find at least one person you trust to confide in.
Tip 2: Don’t try to do it all – Ask for and accept help
Even if you’re the primary family caregiver, you can’t do everything on your own. You’ll need help from friends, siblings, and other family members, as well as health professionals. If you don’t get the support you need, you’ll quickly burn out—which will compromise your ability to provide care.
Take some time to list all the care giving tasks required. Then determine which activities you are able to meet (be realistic about your capabilities and time). The remaining tasks on the list are ones you’ll need to ask others to help you with.
Tip 3: Take care of your own needs
While you’re caring for your loved one, don’t forget about your own needs. Caregivers need care too.
- Find something to laugh about everyday.
- Eat a well-balanced diet.
- Keep a journal to express feelings; give yourself permission to cry.
- Take a break everyday.
- Listen to music or utilize other relaxation techniques.
- Watch for signs of depression and keep regular checkups with your own doctor.
Tip 4: Take advantage of community services
Find Caregiver services in your community, utilize family member affiliations; churches, temples, fraternal organizations.
Tip 5: Balance work and care giving
- Learn your company’s policies (talk to your company’s Human Resources department).
- Know your rights (Family & Medical Leave Act).
- Talk to your manager.
- Inquire about flex time. (Ask about the possibility of working from home once or twice a week so you can also perform your care giving duties.)
- Say thank you to coworkers.”
Special thanks to Melissa and to her family and friends for sharing and caring in so many wonderful ways.
Remembering friends real and otherwise
May 6, 2013 — Patrice
Have you ever read a book where the characters were so real that you missed them when their story ended? Or, found yourself thinking about them days after you’ve closed the book on their lives?
I love that feeling. It’s warm and fuzzy, and a lot like a good friendship.
Why not take a moment this week to let your real friends know how much they mean to you? Send a special FB message, write a short email, send a card, or pick-up the phone. It will only take a minute or two, and will no doubt make their day and yours. Positive psychology research shows that maintaining relationships is an important part of a happy life. In a variety of studies close, confiding relationships were correlated with happiness and well-being.
Friendships matters. People feel better and do better when they have at least a few people in their lives they can trust and confide in. Sounds elementary, but the truth is, many folks are walking around the playground of life without anyone to play with, and they’re not as happy as they could be!
If you want to do a bit more to show someone in your life how much you appreciate them, consider writing them a gratitude letter. It’s free, doctor-tested (Ph. D. Docs, that is), and taught in positive psychology classes at universities around the world! I’ve adapted this practice a bit for Mother’s Day and will be sending a dear friend’s Mom a note thanking her for raising such a wonderful daughter. Last year I received a sweet FB message from a friend wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day and sharing what a good Mom she thought I was; I will never forget her kindness or her thoughts. Get creative and enhance your relationships!
In the meantime, I hope you enjoy some great summer reads. I recently finished Sherri Coner’s “Forever the Willows” - it’s all about friendships, and I’m still missing Jen, Babby, Ivy and Bizzie!
Other Wishful Thinking Works posts you might enjoy . . .
Building a solid support system
Gratitude, happiness, a road trip and a wedding
For Wishful Thinking Works services that can enrich your life, click here.
Where are you sitting on the tree of life?
May 3, 2013 — Patrice
Where are you sitting on the tree of life?
Where do you want to be?
You can do it.
Don’t give up!
Other Wishful Thinking Works posts you might enjoy . . .
For Wishful Thinking Works services that can help you change your life, click here.
A poetic snapshot of well-being
April 30, 2013 — Patrice
“A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both.”
François-René de Chateaubriand
François-René, vicomte de Chateaubriand was a French writer, politician, diplomat and historian. He’s considered to be the founder of Romanticism in French literature.
I love Chateaubriand’s quote, it captures the essence of well-being and four of the five pillars of PERMA the positive psychology acronym for flourishing by combining fun, flow, and fulfillment with accomplishment. Add some rewarding relationships and you will positively flourish!
The gift of an ordinary day
April 24, 2013 — Patrice
I was going to wait until Mother’s Day to post this touching and poignant video from the book “The Gift of an Ordinary Day” by Katrina Kenison, but I realized it’s probably best to share it on an ordinary day.
It’s something every parent, especially moms will savor, enjoy, and I hope, share. Click on the link below to see and listen to one mother’s universal memories of mothering. It’s message is perfect for new moms or those with young children, and will mean so much to those whose children are grown. (Have tissues handy!)
Wishful Thinking Works & Reflect Who I Am will be celebrating motherhood in a fun new way at our Mother & Daughter (9-12 years) “Flourishing Together” event on Saturday, April 27
Being different . . .
April 22, 2013 — Patrice
Being different can be beautiful.
Don’t be afraid to stand-out in a crowd, among your friends, or in your family.
Trust yourself, and see what happens.
Other Wishful Thinking Works posts you might enjoy . . .
Who you are today . . .
For Wishful Thinking Works services that can change your life, click here.
