Building a Solid Support System
Begin by looking back!
- List at least 3 folks, who have mentored you or made you feel good about yourself in the past. Go back to your childhood, if you want to.
- Write down what made them special to you or how they made you feel.
- Relive and savor those memories and feelings for 30 to 60 seconds each.
Reliving and savoring the moments makes them easier for you to access by moving them closer to the front burners of your brain – so to speak. They can be a great tool for helping you build your new support system by reminding you how you want to feel agian.
Next, write the names of at least 9 people in your life.
- Circle those who already do or could create the same type of feelings you just savored.
- Send them a hand-written note or card, email or call them and tell them you are happy they are in your life. It doesn’t matter if you spoke to them yesterday or two years ago; they will enjoy your call or note.
- Don’t worry if they sound surprised, embarrassed or if they don’t respond immediately or exactly the way you thought they would. Reaching out is all that matters.
Review your list again, and decide if and how you could reach out to the other folks on your list. Or if you prefer, start a new list with people you want to bring into your life, and decide how you can reach out and make that happen.
Be brave. It may feel awkward or strange at first, please don’t let that stop you. Everyone feels odd when they are trying something new. Learn to make the first move - say “Hello”; talk to someone new; introduce yourself. Do what it takes until you are more comfortable and relaxed reaching out.
If you want to meet new folks, join a book club, not-for-profit or church. Sign-up for Meetup. Take a cooking, exercise or technology class or offer to teach one. Give a presentation. Take on a new project at work.
Bottom line – reach out, and don’t give up. It may take a few tries to connect. Learn to laugh at your mistakes and yourself along the way, and, remember to thank everyone, who helps you.
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