Remember when tying your shoes, getting your driver’s license, or starting your degree seemed like dream? When making the grade, finding the outfit, or arranging the details of whatever seemed overwhelming?
You’ve faced and surmounted hundreds – if not thousands – of tiny and tall challenges throughout your life, and yet sometimes the new ones – big and small – can still throw us for a loop.
Why is that?
I really don’t have a good answer, but I do have a solution! Spend more time dreaming and less time wondering how and why. Picture the end, don’t worry so much about the beginning. I know, I know, easier said then done, but the truth is you have already accomplished so many things. In fact you are probably a pro at moving forward, but just haven’t given yourself enough credit for your accomplishments.
You, yes you, have succeeded against all odds, you’ve been succesful even when you were scared, worried and overwhelmed – admit it. You’re good at lots of stuff.
Now, just think what you could do if you cut the worrying in half, or even trimmed the roughest edges off. I truly believe dreaming and letting yourself picture yourself succeeding and feeling what that feels like, if even for the briefest of moments, is the way to go.
I know it is hard. Many of us have been conditioned to believe we have to worry, wait, and ruminate before we can attempt something new or different, if at all. Or, perhaps we feel we just don’t deserve it, or that our luck will run out and someone, somewhere, will figure out that we aren’t as smart or capable as we seem to be, or maybe we believe we have gotten more than our fair share of good stuff and second chances, and there’s no more to be had.
Hogwash, I say! (Actually I have never said that, but somehow it seemed perfect at this very moment.)
Now is the time to spend more time dreaming and picturing the end: you – feeling wonderful and proud; you – happy you took the chance – a bit sorry for the bumps and bruises but delighted with the results. I’m absolutely positive that at some point in your life you have said to yourself, “That wasn’t so bad.” And, my guess is you were right!
What I am suggesting is that you start by saying “This won’t be so bad. I’m smart, prepared, I’ve done it before and I can do it again.” Practice if you have to, keep at it until you mean it.
Cut yourself some slack!
Be your own best buddy and ask yourself what you really want, or how you want something to turn out, and then sit with that for a bit. Let yourself, slowly at first if it seems too big and scary, picture the results: You’ve done it. You’ve gotten your degree, bought the house or car, renewed your relationship, started a new one, written the report or the book, taken the test, given the party, become an even better parent, or let someone know you love them.
The what is up to you, let the how go, and give yourself credit for all the hows you’ve figured out in the past, and trust that you can do it again.
Now, take a deep breath, relax and go. There is a great big beautiful world out there waiting for you. So what if you stumble and fall, you’ve done that before too; we all have. Picture yourself getting up, dusting yourself off, and starting over. You can do it! I have complete confidence in you! Go for it.