Guidelines for living from a very valuable perspective

Today’s post truly is about how we live, but I did take my cues directly from Susie Steiner’s online article in the Guardian about Australian-born palliative nurse, Bronnie Ware and Ware’s book, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”.

You see, after numerous, but unfulfilling, adventurous twists and turns in her life, Ware spent time taking care of folks who were dying. Those experiences led her to blogging and eventually to sharing the thoughts and regrets of those she was helping, along with her personal journey, in her book.

Both her work and their thoughts are touching and valuable, which led me to turn them into “Guidelines for Life”, since all of us reading them still have time to act on them!

Here are my “Guidelines for Life” fashioned from the”The Top Five Regrets” Ware shared in her book and Steiner outlined in her article.

  1. Have the courage to live a life true to yourself, not one shaped by that others expect of you.  Not doing so is the number one regret Ware reported in her book.
  2. Don’t focus time and energy on your career to the exclusion of your children, spouse or significant other. Ware notes that this was one of the top regrets of men. (Most of the folks Ware nursed were from a generation in which men were the primary breadwinners.)
  3. Find the courage to express your feelings. Don’t keep silent about issues and people who truly matter to you; let folks know you care and where you stand. Silence can lead to confusion, resentment, and bitterness.
  4. Stay in touch with your friends. Continue to seek ways and find the time to connect with those your care about throughout your entire life.
  5. Let yourself be happy, even silly. Happiness is a choice, choose it.

For tips on how to craft your life around courage, being true to yourself, and creating rich and rewarding relationships browse through the past Wishful Thinking Works posts or start following Wishful Thinking Works today. No reason to live a life of regret, when creating the life you really want is always an option.

Wishful Thinking Works life coaching can help you build the life you truly want.

Having a coach in your corner, is a great way to quickly move forward with the changes you want to make in your life.

For more information, click here.

Visit Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook!

 

Love makes the world go round, in ways we never dreamed of . . .

Valentine’s Day is over, but don’t give up on love!

Check out positive psychology researcher Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D.’s new book, “LOVE 2.0” it’s about the moments  – and the science behind them  – that connect us to each other.  Patrice Koerper  Speaker Wishful Thinking Works Love 3

Significants↔Strangers. Family↔Friends. Companions↔Colleagues.

According to Fredrickson, love is the most rewarding form of positivity and doesn’t require a soul mate to experience! Romance is just one form of love, the others can be just as rich and rewarding and are replenishable.

Love has no expiration date!

Patrice Koerper  Speaker Wishful Thinking Works Love 2To read more about Fredrickson’s latest book and her thoughts about how love makes the world go round, click here.

To listen to Fredrickson talk about her new book, click here.

To listen to her 28 minute presentation about love, youth, and warm hearts, click here. Really great information!

To meditate on the topic of love, click here.  (These are Fredrickson’s personal recommendations.)

To read other great Wishful Thinking Works posts about Barbara Fredrickson’s work, click here, here, and here.

Wishful Thinking Works life coaching can help you build your happiness muscles.

Having a coach in your corner, is a great way to quickly move forward with the changes you want to make in your life.

For more information, click here.

You can Visit and “Like” Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook!

Learning to check your expectations with your luggage!

Chaska, Macedonia 2013 Mountain Road

An unplanned journey, and a day I will remember always – near Chaska, Macedonia.

I’m finishing-up my third Peace Corps assignment, and will be heading back to the States on Valentine’s Day – a sweet treat for sure. I served with the Peace Corps from 2006-2009 in the Republic of Macedonia, 3.5 months in the Republic of Georgia, 2011-2012, and I’m now finishing a 3.5 month assignment in Macedonia.

A big part of the joy I have experienced in my work here and in Georgia has to do with being open to exploring and understanding different cultures. So, earlier this week, when I opened my email and read an e-newsletter about “Cultural Intelligence”, I started thinking about what I’ve learned by living and traveling abroad and how those lessons have shaped my life.

My favorite line in the article is . . . “The last part of cultural intelligence relates to how you behave, and, in particular, how well you adapt when things don’t go according to plan.”

While living abroad I quickly learned that some of my richest and most rewarding moments were dependent on how well I adapted when things turned out differently than I expected, which led to an even more valuable lesson – to be truly happy abroad – it’s best to check your expectations with your luggage!

And, guess what? The amazing part of that lesson is it works just as well at home as it does abroad! Letting go of your expectations, is one of the keys to being truly happy – anywhere, anytime. When we let go of what we expect to happen and how we expect others to act and react, the happier and more fulfilling our lives become.

Expectations take-up a great deal of room in our hearts and in our heads and require loads of effort to maintain, which leaves very little space and energy for understanding, communication,  growth, and happiness.

Think about it.

  • How many times a day do you get frustrated with the actions or non-actions of yourself or others?
  • How many times in your life have you look backward or forward through a very narrow lens, shaped almost entirely by your or other’s expectations, and felt embarrassed, sad or stressed?
  • Wouldn’t it be nice to leave all that behind?

Why not give yourself a special gift this Valentine’s Day and lessen your expectations for yourself and others (past, present and future) and increase the likelihood that happiness will find a special place in your heart and grow to become the sweetest part of your life?

“Sreken pat” or happy journey, as they say to travelers in Macedonia, and may your happiest journey be your life.

Energize your way through life

Patrice Koerper  Life Coach Wishful Thinking Works EnergizersResearch has confirmed that individuals are perceived as “positive energizers” or “negative energizers”.

“Positive energisers create and support vitality in others. They uplift and boost people.  Interacting with positive energisers leaves others feeling lively and motivated. They build energy in people.”

And their approach, makes a huge difference in their performance, relationships, well-being and lives, and the work and lives others. Energizers are great leaders.

“They encourage ideas and creation of answers so that they’re not getting stuck into ruts with problems and issues. They make things happen because of the richness of the relationships they have that increase the discretionary effort those around them put in. They know enough about what’s going on around them that if they don’t know the answer, they can direct people to the right place. They help calm situations where tensions may be fraying and possible friction exists.”  Sukh Pabial

Who does that for you? Is their someone at work? In your family? Your friends?

Where do you fall on the positive energizing spectrum; how often do you share positive energy?

0%____________25%______________50%______________75%______________100%

Where do you want to be on the spectrum?

The good news is anyone can learn to be a positive energizer. It’s not a personality trait. It doesn’t matter if you are extroverted or introverted. It’s not about being outgoing. It’s about how you act and interact with people.

Quick tips for positively energizing your life. They’re free and easy:

  • Listen.
  • Smile more.
  • Give credit to others.
  • Let co-workers, staff, and family know you appreciate what they do.
  • Respond more often with “Hmm. I don’t know. What do you think?”
  • Create a culture of caring and kindness – lead the way!

Don’t limit yourself, your team, your family, or your life.  Energize them!

Do a little planting this weekend . . .

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“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”

Robert Louis Stevenson

Monday Morning Music

I had the fun of opening Facebook this morning and finding a video of my 3 and 5-year-old grandsons dancing. The next post that found it’s way to my “Home” page was from a good friend about a song she wrote and sang. I was smiling and feeling mighty fine, when I realized their music had put in a great Monday-morning mood!

So, I am passing it on  – Happy Monday-Morning Music!

MH900438438Make music part of your Monday mornings. Dance the kids down the stairs, and out the door. Play some Mozart with your cup of tea, or put on something up-tempo to get you moving and exercising.

Studies show music can elevate your mood, chase away the blues, increase your motivation to move and maybe even recall memories. Music ignites many regions in our brains so it might just be the perfect pick-me-up on a Monday morning.

Hopefully, you will leave home humming a tune, which can inspire you and reduce and lingering anxiety and give you courage to face the week ahead and maybe even twirl a time or two!

And, if these tunes didn’t put you in a great mood, there’s always tomorrow. :-)

Have a great day!

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