Wishful Thinking Works: Create the life you really want

If you have had a traumatic experience, or have avoided dealing with an upsetting topic or situation that has plagued or worried you for years, there is an effective fix that can get you on the road to recovery. It is called expressive writing and works like this:

1. Commit 20 minutes a day – for 4 consecutive days
2. Then in a quiet, private place, and write for 20 minutes a day for 4 consecutive days
   • Make it personal and private
   • Ignore grammar and misspellings
   • Be honest – are you happy ,sad, glad, mad or all of the above?
   • Be reflective not corrective (Don’t try to fix what is bothering you but rather write about what is bothering you.)
   • Only write about what you can handle thinking about – sometimes dealing with a fresh hurt or pain is too intense.
3. Optional step: Write about same topic from the perspective of others involved . . . tricky but helpful, if you choose to do so.

Expressive writing is a concrete action, which is a much better way to deal with problems and challenges than ignoring them and ruminating about the dark situations and sides of our lives. For a video about emotional writing, and additional instructions and insights on how to do it, click here.

Research shows that emotional writing may leave you feeling sad immediately after you write (This is similar to how a sad movie might make you feel.), or you may cry while writing; both are normal and okay.  But, if writing  causes you major distress, simply stop and try again at another time when you feel more ready to explore your feelings.

Expressive writing will leave you feeling happier and healthier. Studies show the positive effects can impact immune functions and last for months and maybe even a lifetime, if you continue the writing as needed.

Pick up a pen and paper, find a cozy spot and write to change your life. It’s free, takes very little time, and may reward you with peace of mind and a much more positive perspective on life.

James W Pennebaker, Ph.D., and Professor at University of Texas at Austin is a leader in the research on this topic. Click here to visit his web page and learn more on the topic.