Most of us try to resist or ignore sad or fearful thoughts.
We deny them or try to talk ourselves out of feeling the way we already do. Or worse yet, we beat-up on ourselves for feeling what we are feeling.
If you want to release and reduce the intensity of feeling low, don’t resist fearful or sad thoughts – let them in and breathe deeply.
Doing so sounds counter intuitive, but you’ll be surprised how fast sad or upsetting thoughts fade when you simply let them in and admit you are afraid or feeling sad. (Works for jealousy and many other negative, nagging vibes, as well.)
We all liked to be heard. Your brain and body are no different. Don’t try to outrun your feelings, they will just work harder to catch-up with you.
Let those pesky feelings in, and soon they will learn you can handle what they bring and they won’t have to work so hard to get your attention.
Listening to classical music and planning upcoming workshops, which always makes me feel extremely, happy, content and fulfilled.
Are you feeling the same way? If so, savor the moment.
If not, what would you have to be doing to feel the same way?
Feeling relaxed, happy? Hope so!
Hope this moment finds you immersed in your version of wonderful!
For free resources to help you on your journey, click here.
“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” Eckhart Tolle
Knowing how and what you are feeling allows you to both be in the moment and to step back and see a bigger picture.
In that moment you stop being your feelings and become something greater – aware of your feelings, and then and only then can you celebrate and savor the positive ones or explore and deal with the negative ones.
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This article was too good not to share. . . especially during the season of giving!
Want a simple, easy, refreshing way to start each day? Keep a journal or a few 3×5 cards on your nightstand or in a cozy writing spot and write down these three things each morning . . .
Mine for today are:
The process is quick and uplifting. I have been listing my “3 a Day” for the past two weeks and I love it. It gives my day a bit more structure and reminds me that each day is a new day.
Author and speaker Neil Pasricha described the idea as “The two-minute morning practice” in his latest book, “You Are Awesome.” He sees it as a “mental release” and a way of cleansing our anxieties and crystallizing our thoughts. I agree and call it “3 a Day,” because like a vitamin, it is good for us! Pasricha also noted, “The process helped me sort, clarify, and confirm my feelings. And, it ultimately helped me move forward.”
Pasricha’s great insights can be helpful for all of us. Give “3 a Day” a try and let me know how it goes.
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I am a planner, so I get how crazy it can feel to not knowing something or in our latest situation much of anything.
I also know that finding ways to sit with discomfort rather than reacting to it can bring amazing insights and a sense of peace.
Start with “Today I will be okay with not knowing _____________.”
With daily use, I promise you will feel more relaxed and even energized. Wrestling with not knowing takes up so much energy, sitting with it instead.
This morning I had one of those magic moments when I remembered all I have to do today – is live today. Being reminded, filled me with a sense of peace.
I had been thinking about friends and family dealing with a variety of major issues; within a minute that morphed into thinking about other negative situations swirling around. Seconds later, crisis-level, cinematic images were streaming through my mind. I quickly became overwhelmed trying to figure out how I could help.
My mental panic lasted only a few seconds when I realized that I had created my panic – none of the scenes from my vivid, split-second, personal blockbuster of fear were real – I had made them up!
Instead of berating myself for thinking negatively – a pastime I employed way too often in the past – I knew it was time to switch gears. I fast-forwared to a beach scene in my mind and within seconds I was focused on the surf and how good the sand felt beneath my feet. I remembered standing in the water and thinking I could actually feel the earth move under my feet. (Cue Carol King.)
While reliving the beach scene, I relaxed and realized I only had to live today – I did not need to predict or solve anything. And, for me, the best way to be in tune with today was to do things I valued and enjoyed – exercise, meditation, talking to my husband, calling friends, reading or listening to something interesting or humorous, eating healthy and sipping coffee with frothy milk while I enjoyed my two-squares-day of rich, delicious dark chocolate. I immediately felt relaxed and renewed. Mental switch flipped.
My thoughts led me to a feeling of serenity that has not left me. Live today. The rest would take care of itself. Scary to think that way during tough times, it takes trust and courage, but I know it to be true.
Life has a way of working out, and since I truly have no control over anything other than my moment to moment choices, I have learned to trust those. Just like the surf, paths appear and fade. Friends, lovers, jobs, good health, and dreams ebb and flow.
I have also learned that solutions and creative options appear more readily when I am at ease and my emotional doors are wide open and my mental window curtains are pushed aside. And, since everything happens in its own time, I am much happier when I center my energy on my immediate choices and actions, rather than on any highly-charged disaster reels I create in my mind.
Serenity is one of our Top 10 Positive Emotions,” according to Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph.D. In her research and her books Fredrickson shares that developing positive emotions in our lives undoes the lingering effects of negative emotions and helps us build resilience.
I know firsthand growing positive emotions works; my resiliency is what helped me realize and reroute my negative state of mind in a matter of minutes, and I am still reaping the benefits of the feelings of serenity that replaced it. (Our positive emotions can also increase our productivity; I don’t think I would be writing this post without them.)
Here’s to growing positive emotions, resetting our brains, and trusting ourselves to be strong enough during stressful times to simply live today.
Have a great Saturday.
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“FIND MORE MEANING IN YOUR LIFE”
Thursday at 2pm on ZOOM
Do you feel that your life has purpose and meaning?
Are you excited to get out of bed each morning? Do you go to sleep happy and satisfied?
Or, are you busy but not really satisfied with your life?
Are you second guessing your career, your relationships, your life choices? Or are you simply wondering, what’s next????
I have been there! My life did a 180 when I began focusing on what I wanted, not what I didn’t and what truly mattered to me. Those changes led me in many new and rewarding directions.
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Studies show that those who are leading a purposeful life – live longer, are happier and experience a greater sense of resiliency and trust!
Would you like to: learn more about the concept of meaning, the role it plays in your life, and how to find yours? If so, join us to learn about meaning and how it can change your life – for the better.
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Meaning matters, and will enrich and expand your life! If you have been thinking about attending a Wishful Thinking Women event, but haven’t made it yet, this is an easy way to start.
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I wanted to share a quick and easy way to bring more joy into your life. Rick Hanson, Ph.D. is a neuropsychologist, who has written a number of books on the technique, which he calls “Taking in the Good.” Other folks describe a similar method, known as savoring. No matter the name, it is a simple, fast way to refresh your outlook or your state of mind.
Begin by selecting a positive moment from your life – past, present or something you would like to create in the future, and then close your eyes and create an image of the moment in your mind. Stay with the image for 30-60 seconds.
Let your mind wander and daydream a bit about your moment – fill in as many details as you can. Relive, notice, or create lots of sensory relationships in your mind to your image – sights, smells, sounds, etc. and think about how good you felt/feel/or will feel about your joy-filled memory or moment.
Keep going until you actually feel a difference in your body. You might find yourself smiling, or your shoulders relaxing or wiggling a bit. You may feel sensations flowing through your entire body or you might get goose bumps! When you feel like you are there your brain will react accordingly and release a bouquet of goodness.
Your moments to not have to be momentous, although they will work, as well. I savor each and every lattè or cappuccino I drink, and I always feel as though I have been on a mini-vacation! It is so relaxing.
If you savor your personal positives 6 times a day – for a total of only 5-10 minutes – you will not only change your brain chemistry while you are savoring it, over time you will rewire your brain to think and feel more positively.
Set an alarm on your phone or with Alexa to remind you throughout the day to pause and savor. Or get in the habit of “Taking in the Good” each time you get a cup of coffee, brush your teeth, wake-up, go to sleep – anything you do on a regular basis can be a great reminder for you.
Don’t worry about doing the process 6 times a day when you begin, simply start! If you remember to develop and embellish your thought – you will feel the effects immediately as your brain releases happy chemicals and hormones that help your brain cells connect. It’s science, and it works.
Go for it, “Take in the Good,” or savor a moment right now!