Feeling trapped?

Freedom (2)

When you are feeling low, here’s what you need to know.

girl-470690_960_720Most of us try to resist or ignore sad or fearful thoughts.

We deny them or try to talk ourselves out of feeling the way we already do. Or worse yet, we beat-up on ourselves for feeling what we are feeling.

If you want to release and reduce the intensity of feeling low, don’t resist fearful or sad thoughts – let them in and breathe deeply.

Doing so sounds counter intuitive, but you’ll be surprised how fast sad or upsetting thoughts fade when you simply let them in and admit you are afraid or feeling sad. (Works for jealousy and many other negative, nagging vibes, as well.)

Your body will respond by releasing the tension surrounding the thoughts. It’s as though your brain tells your body, “Whew, she’s finally listening to us, now we can relax.”
We all liked to be heard. Your brain and body are no different. Don’t try to outrun your feelings, they will just work harder to catch-up with you.

Let those pesky feelings in, and soon they will learn you can handle what they bring and they won’t have to work so hard to get your attention.

And, breathe.

 

Feeling fine on a Thursday afternoon

img_4669Listening to classical music and planning upcoming workshops, which always makes me feel extremely, happy, content and fulfilled.

Are you feeling the same way? If so, savor the moment.

If not, what would you have to be doing to feel the same way?

  • Hold that picture in your mind, breathe deeply and exhale slowly through your nose.
  • Hold it a bit longer, add a few more details, breathe a bit deeper, exhale even more slowly.
  • Gently let the vision fade away.
  • Breathe deeply, exhale with a smile.

Feeling relaxed, happy? Hope so!

Hope this moment finds you immersed in your version of wonderful!

 

Feeling awareness

“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.”  Eckhart Tolle

flowers-1184705_960_720Happy, sad, glad, mad.

Knowing how and what you are feeling allows you to both be in the moment and to step back and see a bigger picture.

In that moment you stop being your feelings and become something greater – aware of your feelings, and then and only then can you celebrate and savor the positive ones or explore and deal with the negative ones.

 

Are you ready? Life could be better  . . . Wishful Thinking Works Life Coaching

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How to Make Giving Feel Good

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This article was too good not to share. . . especially during the season of giving!

How to Make Giving Feel Good

Happy Holidays!

Peace in the storm

Happy Thursday Morning.

How are you doing today? I hope your are feeling well and enjoying some peaceful moments no matter what is swirling around you.

I used to think that if I was surrounded by chaos I had to jump in and tame the waves. I felt it was my job to calm the seas, no matter how overwhelmed I felt by all the crazy swirling around me.

In my 20’s and 30’s I was often the carrier of bad news and gossipy comments, and I was more than willing to take most things personally.  Defensive mechanisms for sure, but hurtful to others, nonetheless.

Lucky for me, over the years and with lots of trial and error, reflection, and meditation I realized I can observe and care but not connect in ways that create chaos for me or others, and that even in the saddest or scariest circumstances it is possible to find moments of joy, peace, and balance – without guilt!

Trusting in the goodness of others and their abilities is key, and listening and letting people know that we are connected, that we care, and that they are capable, lovable, and worth listening to and being loved is a much better approach – for everyone. 

Today, I wish you joy and peace and the courage to find them during stressful and difficult times. I know you can do it, and I know at times it will be difficult, but I trust that you won’t stop trying. I believe in you and know you are wonderful, lovable and worth it.

wtw-logo-patrice-koerper-life-coach-motivational-speaker 2019
Your life is your once in a lifetime opportunity; what you do with it is up to you.” 
Patrice K. Robson

7 ways to capture gratitude

Yesterday’s meditation from Oprah and Deepak’s latest free 21-Day meditation series inspired me to write this post. I love their meditations, especially on the topic of gratitude.

Gratitude Doodles

I spend part of almost every day thinking about how gratitude impacts my life, reading about gratitude and its benefits, or savoring and capturing my gratitudes.

Do you have a regular gratitude practice – journal or otherwise? If not, research shows you are missing on out on a plethora of benefits!

Here are a just a few methods I have enjoyed using over the years. Match your practice to your personality – for me, switching up my methods keeps my practice going strong.

  1. Gratitude journal – write 3 a day each morning or evening.
  2. Penny in the jar – simply dropping a penny in a jar for every gratitude I took the time to savor that day – fun to see the pennies pile up – you will feel rich inside and out!
  3. Tiny strips of paper in a jar – same idea as above, but fun to read later.
  4. Gratitude chain – similar to a Christmas tree chain except I write a gratitude on each ring and watch my chain grow.
  5. I also love doodling one to three-word gratitude descriptions in all sorts of configurations – up, down and all around – with glitter pens or colored pencils in a 6 x 8, 30 page sketch pad I carry around with me. Using glitter pens on heavy sketch paper delights me, and creates a book of sorts for me to review whenever I have a quiet moment, or life seems a bit much! It’s colorful, slightly artsy and always makes me smile.
  6. Gratitude letter – 300 words of detailed thanks to someone in your life, who is special to you but you may not have taken the time to let them know – I love this method – good for everyone’s soul.
  7. Write a simple, brief, and heartfelt email, text, message, card, etc. at least once a week thanking or complimenting someone one whose actions have touched your life and made it better. You can write to a friend, family, colleague, waitress, barista, bartender, company or customer service representative – get creative!  

No matter the method you use, always remember to savor your gratitudes, it is the savoring that changes your brain chemistry and lets your entire body benefit from the practice. Over time, you will feel a positive difference in your outlook and your life.

You can read more about gratitude, its benefits, and ideas for capturing its goodness by entering the word “gratitude” or “savor” in the search bar on the right.

“Your life is your once in a lifetime opportunity; what you do with it is up to you.”

Patrice K. Robson

Celebrate YOU this 4th of July!

4th of july 2019 1Many of you will soon be celebrating the Fourth of July with parties, picnics and pyrotechnics. Why not combine your patriotic passion with your personal triumphs – and celebrate them all!

Mid-year is the perfect time to celebrate YOU and your life by creating your very own “Ta Da List.”

The Wishful Thinking Works “Ta Da List” is much more fun than a “To Do” list, because it’s for all the things you’ve already accomplished this year – pure enjoyment with little effort!

My guess is you seldom take time to give yourself credit for all the wonderful things you have done or the challenges you have overcome. Make today your personal Independence Day by taking a moment to reflect on what makes you and your life worth celebrating as you list your accomplishments – big or small – on your personal “Ta Da” list.  It’s instant gratification of a new kind and much healthier than ice cream or holiday snacks.

4th of July 2019What have you accomplished this year that just six months ago seemed impossible or only a distant possibility? (Feel free to include anything you have ever accomplished – this is the time to toot your horn.)

What new trails have you blazed?

What have you found the strength to face?

New jobs? Degrees? Classes? Healthy practices begun? Pounds lost? (Yes, you can count the same ones over again!) Miles run? Promises kept? Chances taken? Letters written? 

What teeny, tiny or wondrously huge steps have you taken in the direction of your dreams?

List any and all of the things that make you happy and proud to be you!

Most of us spend way more time thinking about what we haven’t done, than what we have done. It’s time to change all that and make 2019 your year of the have’s not the have not’s! Celebrating success builds confidence and noting what is right in our lives makes us happier and more resilient.

Don’t be shy – this is the time for aiming high and lighting up the sky. List everything you have done that matters to you, and then when you are watching “the rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air” congratulate yourself on your 2019 accomplishments thus far, and all the exciting ones that lay ahead. Let those bright lights and loud booms ignite a sense of personal pride in you. 

And, when you finish your list, make sure to take a few minutes to offer up some gratitude for each and everything thing on it and all the folks who were part of your success. Gratitude is the fast track to happiness!

Get started by downloading your free Wishful Thinking WorksTa Da List.”  Have fun and enjoy a perfectly positive Independence Day in 2019!

 

For other free Wishful Thinking Works resources, click here.

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Day 9 of Oprah and Deepak’s Meditation 21 Day Series

Loving Oprah and Deepak’s Grace Through Gratitude 21-Day Meditation Series and allowing gratitude and grace to be a expanded part of each day.

Feeling greatful* for taking the time to slow down long enough to watch this guy in our backyard! He arrived early yesterday and spent the night! (*My version of the word “grateful” because that is how it makes me feel, GREAT!)

What is making you feel greatful these days?

In the series Oprah and Deepak remind us how good feeling gratitude feels! The changes to your heart and soul are life enhancing and can help you bring positivity and grace into your life.

Wishing you blue skies, sweet adventures and moments of heartfelt gratitude today and everyday.

Warm regards,

Patrice

Communication worth savoring

Me on trainI have been writing about savoring for years and have made it part of my daily life, because it is an amazing feeling and brings such insight and joy. But I never thought about savoring communication until I read this article, and checked out the research of University of Arizona researcher Maggie Pitts.

Pitts analyzed online responses after asking respondents whether or not they savored communication and if so, for a detailed example of an experience they had savored.

“Savoring is the process of (1) identifying a pleasant experience, (2) noticing that you are feeling pleasure about that experience, and then (3) feeling good about feeling pleasure” Maggie Pitts

From their responses Pitts identified seven different types of communication that people tend to savor:

1) Aesthetic communication. Survey respondents savored this type of communication because of some aspect of how it was presented—timing, delivery, choice of words or perhaps a surprise twist. An inspiring speech, good play on words or suspenseful announcement might fall in this category.

2) Communication presence. This category includes conversations in which participants reported being so deeply engaged and completely in the moment with another person that it felt as if no one else mattered. These types of exchanges often were described as “real” or “entirely honest.”

3) Nonverbal communication. From to physical contact to facial expressions, these exchanges emphasize nonverbal cues. A meaningful hug or smile might fall in this category.

4) Recognition and acknowledgement. This category encompasses communication in which participants were publicly acknowledged or offered appreciation, like an awards ceremony or a speech honoring an individual.

5) Relational communication. This category includes communication that establishes, confirms or gives insight into a relationship, such as a couple’s discussion about the future together or an intimate disclosure that brings two people closer.

6) Extraordinary communication. Many participants savored communication around special moments, such as a wedding, illness, birth of a child or other “landmark memories.”

7) Implicitly shared communication. This category includes unspoken communication experiences that may be more difficult to articulate, such as feeling the excitement of a crowd around you, or looking at someone and instinctively knowing that you are sharing the same feeling.

I love that learning something new about savoring has brought even more joy to my life, and I quickly realized that I do savor many of the conversations I have had with people throughout my life and each of those still brings me joy. Here are some of the most memorable as this moment:
  • a conversation we had in my 10th grade social science class about how people approach living and their choices;
  • a talk with a friend who was dying of leukemia;
  • listening to my sons when they were little and discovering the world around them and much later when they were in college and just after, as they explored a much larger world;
  • a fellow Peace Corps Volunteer on the train to Skopje – the capital of Macedonia;
  • talks with friends of shared books and movies;
  • a presentation on music, art and math by Richard G. Brown, the father of Da Vinci Code author, Dan Brown and a much honored math professor
  • the hundreds and hundreds of rich and wonderful conversations with my dearest friends at the happiest, most exciting, or the most trying times of my life,
  • and the deep, touching and heartfelt conversations I have with my husband almost daily.
I am now looking forward to reading the books Pitts edited on positive communication, which hopefully will create more conversations for me to savor. I already like the way she thinks, “Maggie takes a “bright side” approach to the study of human communication — asking questions like, “what is going right” here, and “how can we make good things even better?”
I hope you find lots of wonderful moments and communications to savor, today and all the days ahead for you.
As I was writing this post in the early morning hours, I took a moment to savor the water color view through the screen on my balcony on a softly unfolding morning in tropical Florida.
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