Mother and Daughter Flourishing Together Workshop: Cleveland, Ohio

M and D Workshop Banner OhioJoin us at Cleveland’s first “Flourishing Together” workshop specifically designed for mothers (aunts or grandmas) and their daughters, nieces or granddaughters ages 9-12 to encourage the girls to celebrate who they are, to boost their self-esteem, to strengthen the bond between mom and daughter and to have fun!

When: Saturday, April 27th, 1-4pm

Where: River’s Edge 3430 Rocky River Drive, Cleveland, Ohio 44111

Cost: $65 per pair (mother/daughter) and $30 each additional daughter. Limited seating: book today!

Visit Reflect Who I Am to register today!

“We want every girl to love who she sees in  mirror. We not only want to inspire girls, we want to awaken them to their true selves, and with your help we can do it.”    Reflect Who I Am

The 3-hour workshop is crafted with guidance and activities that will not only  create lasting memories for you and your daughter, niece or granddaughter, but will plant seeds for  continued growth. You will each gain a deeper understanding of your potential  and will create a stronger bond while enjoying combined activities and learning  take-away-tips to keep the confidence and connection going and growing in the  years ahead.

Each participating daughter will also receive an “I am beautiful” t-shirt.

“Our lives are filled with an infinite array of possibilities. What we choose to see becomes our experience. What  we focus on will grow. Reflect Who I Am wants to remind girls everywhere that they are who they see in the mirror.  They reflect the beauty, the courage and the brilliance that is within them.”    Reflect Who I Am

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Our presenter: Patrice Koerper, personal and professional coach and blogger @ Wishful Thinking Works. Patrice has a B.A. in Psychology and a Masters in Leadership and Organizational Effectiveness and has served in the United States Peace Corps. She has published articles on raising confident children and ran a hugely successful summer camp in the Tampa, FL area for tweens.

Wishful Thinking Ways #14

Wishful Thinking Ways

Today is the last post in our Wishful Thinking Ways series. For 14 weeks we’ve been meeting on Fridays to find new ways to create the lives we really want and to zero in on one very specific change in 2012. I hope you’ve enjoyed the series!

Today, I will be explaining a formula, which will help you achieve the change you want in your life. Before we begin, if you haven’t already, please complete the free Wishful Thinking Ways “Change Circle” sheet. Then jump on the Wishful Thinking Works Real Deal Change Wheel, which is a great way to get off the Ferris Wheel of Denial we sometimes ride when we go round and round instead of forward in our lives by telling ourselves why a particular change is not possible. Completing the Wishful Thinking Works Real Deal Change Wheel can get you started in the right direction. If you are new to the Wishful Thinking Ways series, click here.

“20/5/90 Formula”

I’m a believer in life coach and author David Essel’s “20/5/90 Formula”, because it works! It’s an easy to use method to create change in your life. All you have to do is create weekly, time-specific, realistic action steps, which you then work on at least 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for 90 days!

Each Sunday night, or other consistent day of your choosing, layout the time-specific, realistic action steps that you will do for the next 5 days, 20 minutes a day. As an example, let’s say your goal is to exercise more. On your chosen day, write how you will move toward that goal over the next 5 days. Lead with the reason you have chosen that goal, and write the sentence as though you’ve already achieved it.

“I’m excited that I’m living a healthier lifestyle and as part of my goal I will exercise 20 minutes a day for the next 5 days. I will wake-up early each day and so I have time to exercise from 6 to 6:20 a.m. I will keep my exercise clothes and shoes next to the bed to make it easier for me to get up and going.”

    1. On Monday I will walk outside (or on treadmill) from 6 – 6:20 a.m.
    2. On Tuesday I will work out at home with my __ pound weights for 20 minutes. I will do ___ sets of _____________ for my arms and ____ sets of __________ to strengthen my back. I will also do _____ sets of ____________ for my legs, etc.
    3. On Wednesday I will walk outside from 6 – 6:20 a.m.
    4. On Tuesday I will work out at home with my __ pound weights for 20 minutes. I will do ___ sets of _____________ for my arms and ____ sets of __________ for my legs, etc.
    5. On Friday I will walk outside from 6 – 6:20 a.m.

The goal, of course, is to create weekly time-specific, realistic action steps that are right for your change. Gear the time-specific, realistic action steps to your change goal – getting a new job, starting back to school, opening a business, etc. The “20/5/90 Formula” works for everything.

The key is taking time to write a plan each week. Once you begin holding yourself accountable, change becomes easier. As you achieve each day’s step, remember to savor your success, which can make you feel more confident and motivate you to keep moving forward. And, even if you are following the same steps each week, write them down as if they are new each week. Writing is part of the commitment process.

You can do this. You can absolutely create the changes you want in your life.

20 minutes a day, 5 days a week for the next 90 days, is not a huge amount of time and the results can be amazing.

Before too long, you might find yourself committing more time each day to your goals, that’s great, little successes build to big successes by increasing our confidence, congruence and stamina.

Special Tip

I believe it is better to allocate more time per day, than more days per week to your goal and here’s why. If you start doing your time-specific action steps 7 days a week, the odds increase that you might miss a day. Once you miss a day, it’s too easy to fall into a pattern of beating-up on yourself.

 “Man I missed a day, I said I wouldn’t and I did, I never finish anything, I’m lousy at this, why do I even try?”

Any version of a negative thought pattern can easily lead you to throw in the towel on your change process – in fact, it is a very common way to sabotage yourself.

“I didn’t ________________so I must be ___________________.” (Insert any negative term or phrase.) “This is too hard. I will never change. I don’t deserve to do better.”(Your version may sound different, but I think you get the idea.)

While using the “20/5/90 Formula”, do not under any circumstances allow yourself to use a missed day or a shortened time frame from a day to build a case for failure. Okay? You’ve been warned, missing a day is bound to happen, so I suggest creating a support statement to tell yourself, if or when you skip or shorten a day’s assigned activity. I call this your “Getting back on the horse” statement. Make your statement supportive, kind, and energizing.

“I didn’t do ____________, but that doesn’t mean I have to throw in the towel. I really do want change and I’m good at it. I’ve changed and achieved lots of other things in my life. So, even though I missed a day, I’m going to keep going and keep moving forward. I feel great when I do what I say I’m going to do and I really do want to change, so I am going to keep going.”

My example is long, but I wanted to make sure you get a feel for how to write your “Getting back on the horse” statement. As always, use your words, fill in any blanks and go for it. You can do it.

Study after study shows that if our goal is important enough to us; if we are committed to achieving it; if we are specific in our plans, and if we create an environment that provides feedback – change will take place. (“The getting back on the horse” statement is a form of support as is working with a partner on your goal.)

Let’s Do It

If you start on Sunday, April 1 by Friday, June 29, 2012 your change will be a part of your life. No fooling! June 29 might sound far away at the moment, but here’s the thing – June 29 will be here no matter if you change or not, but a new you is guaranteed to be there to greet it, if you follow the “20/5/90 Formula”.  Do you want to find the same old you on June 29 or do you want to meet the new and improved, confident and congruent you?

The choice is yours. I can’t wait to hear about your success!

Wishful Thinking Ways #11

 

Would you like to feel more confident, courageous and calmer? If so, you are in the perfect place at the perfect time – Wishful Thinking Ways week #11!

Today we are creating your Change Circle. Click here for a customized Change Circle sheet you can use to decide exactly what you want to change in your life. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to select one, and one thing only to change.

By choosing one, and one thing only, you concentrate your efforts and dramatically increase the odds you will achieve your goal. And, by accomplishing whatever you set out to do – you will not only achieve your change goal, you will also gain confidence in yourself and your abilities, and build some courage along the way. And, if you allow yourself to celebrate and savor your success you can go to sleep and wake-up feeling calmer. It’s a win-win-win situation! The trifecta of change – confidence, courage and calm. (Ooh, that feels good . . .  I’ve been working on my personal change goal, and I can tell you it feels wonderful to see the changes taking place, but that’s another post.)

You can do it.

If you have been following Wishful Thinking Ways over the past 10 weeks, you are completely ready for this. In January, you set the stage; in February you spent time exploring and discovering your dreams, and in March you will begin making them happen. The past 10 weeks of Wishful Thinking Ways have been chockfull of ideas and activities to get you started and moving in the right direction. (If you are just joining us, no problem, click here or on the last link below.)

Wishful Thinking Works  – all you need to do is to slip into the driver’s seat and get behind the wheel of your life. You are in control! I know there are days it may not feel that way – we all have them – but deep down you are capable of creating change in your life. I am absolutely sure you have done it before, and just as sure you can do it again.

The free Wishful Thinking Ways “Change Circle” sheet will help you. Click here, then read and print it. No printer, no problem – read the sheet and make your own circles on a piece of paper. (Where there’s a will, there’s a way!)

No excuses, you can do it. Go for it! No matter where you are today, it is the perfect starting point for where you want to be tomorrow.

Click on the links below to review or start your Wishful Thinking Ways.

It is never too late to create positive change in your life.

Wishful Thinking Ways #10 – My Wishful Thinking Ways

Wishful Thinking Ways #9 – Your Story, Your Way

Wishful Thinking Ways #8 – Mind-Mapping & More

Wishful Thinking Ways #7 – Change Drawings

Wishful Thinking Ways #6 – Questions Hold the Key

Wishful Thinking Ways #5 – Exploring Label Fables

Wishful Thinking Ways #4 – Name that Feeling

Wishful Thinking Ways #3 – Physiological Tells

Wishful Thinking Ways #2 – Simple Steps 

Wishful Thinking Ways #1 – Start at the Very Beginning

 

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Asking, listening

Monday morning reflection . . .

“… the more confident of their abilities that persons are the less they feel compelled to tell others of their achievement” a quote from Dr. Ben Carson, in his book, “Think Big: Unleashing Your POTENTIAL for EXCELLENCE.”

I know that, but sometimes I forget it.

You see, sometimes I find myself in situations where I feel I have to justify my existence or something I have done or am doing by explaining, who I am and what I am doing with my life, and then I end-up talking too much, or rambling, (yes, just like now) or maybe saying something silly, or well, stupid, and that’s silly, because I’m not stupid.   :-)

How does that happen? 

My perfect life scenario is one in which I go through an entire party or gathering without ever talking about myself. I simply ask and listen, ask and listen.

My perfect life is me doing that forever.  Asking, listening, asking, listening.

So far it hasn’t happened, but I am confident it will, and when it does, I won’t even have to mention it.

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