Endings matter

Researchers have found that we have a tendency to assess life events, our lives and the lives of others primarily by how they end. This tendency or bias may even outweigh how we remember or value the peak moments of events or lives no matter how impressive or grand the peaks were. Being president, a famous celebrity, bestselling author, a billionaire or an Olympic athlete, may not be the most important memory people will have of you . . .

If a movie or a book ends well – in a way we feel is exciting or rewarding – we have a tendency to ignore or excuse any earlier plot failings it may have. Phrases such as “Leave them laughing.” and “All’s well that end well.” reflect these human tendencies.

door-672999__180So why am I telling you all this? Because it means it is never too late for a happy or truly satisfying ending to your education, your career, your marriage, your family relations, your life, your anything! Since we and the folks around us have the tendency to value the ending more than what happens along the way there is still and always hope.

What have you wanted to do, but haven’t done? It is not too late.

What have you wanted to see, but never saw? It is not too late.

Where have you wanted to go, but haven’t been? It is not too late.

What have you wanted to say, but never did? It is not too late.

What values have you wanted to live by, but aren’t? It is not too late.

What have you hoped to feel, but haven’t felt? It is not too late.

What have you wanted to stop doing, but haven’t had the courage? It is not too late.

Who have you wanted to hug, but haven’t? It is not too late.

Who have you wanted to forgive, but have not? It is not too late.

Your ending is not yet written. Life truly is a marathon, not a sprint. There is time.

Start today. I know you can do it. The life you really want is waiting for you!

For free resources, click here. To join the Autumn Joy Club, click here.

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Join the Wishful Thinking Works Autumn Joy Club

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1 spot open in the Autumn Joy Club

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No commissions – I just really love the book!

Wishful Thinking Works came about in part because of a book I would like to share with you this fall – Martha Beck’s “The Joy Diet”.

Martha is a well-known author and life coach, who has been featured on Oprah’s shows and in Oprah magazine for more than a decade. She has a simple, no nonsense approach to change, which she outlines in “The Joy Diet”.  I first opened her book in 2003, and have read it many times since then. It truly helped me create the life I really wanted. I believe it can do the same for you.

I have put together “The Autumn Joy Club” to work with 10 folks who truly want to bring more joy into their lives.

We will be meeting via free telephone conference Thursday nights at 7 p.m. for 1 hour and fifteen minutes each week beginning September 15 and ending October 13.

• This free, action-oriented club is limited to a total of 10 members, so only sign-up, if you truly want change in your life and you are ready for action!  (There is only 1 space reserved for Wishful Thinking Works blog readers  – so sign-up today!) 

 The club requires commitment and dedication – you will not only be reading the first five chapters of “The Joy Diet”, you will be integrating the steps into your life.  It’s hard work, but the kind that when you are done you feel proud of yourself and better for it.

• The key is working the steps, without action change won’t take place.

Are you game? Would you like to bring more joy into your life? Does change scare you? Good then you are the perfect candidate for our Wishful Thinking Works Autumn Joy Club!

Beck’s approach is fun and simple. The hardest step for me was #1, but that is also the step that had the biggest impact on my life, and led me on a journey inside myself and around the world.

There will be times that you will feel like you are on a roller coaster and want to get off, but the joy, courage and confidence you’ll get from sticking with it are well worth the ride! I know, because I have ridden the very same coaster, and it changed my life!

Martha shares her clear-cut steps and tells you how to combine them for the biggest impact, and then she kicks you out of the nest, trusting you will figure it all out – and you will as a member of the Wishful Thinking Works Autumn Joy Club. I will be there to offer tips, insights, and encouragement and you will learn from each other as you go.

So if you are serious about creating more joy in your life and ready to make the commitment that takes – join away. 

  • To join, please send me an email at wishfulthinkingworks@gmail.com with a few sentences about yourself and why you would like to be part of our group. I will notify you via email to confirm you are in.
  • We will be using freeconferencecall.com – there may be a charge for international callers, please review their web site if you will be calling from outside the United States.
  • Please do not sign-up, if your are not committed to reading a chapter a week and integrating change into your life. I takes time, and you need to be ready to change.

Once you receive confirmation that you are in, please purchase the book in the format you prefer, you can get it online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc.  Read the preface and Chapter 1 before we get started on September 15! (Told you the group is action oriented!) Before we begin, you will receive an outline explaining what we will be covering each week and details on how to connect to our free conference call.

The rest is up to you, go for the joy!

Warm regards,

Patrice

PS I am so excited that I will be attending a Martha Beck workshop in September – can’t wait! I will have lots of new info to share.

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It’s summer, take a nap!

cat napping-1551783__180It’s summer, cut yourself some slack and take a nap. It may be the right time to turn the lights down low, and let yourself go. The National Sleep Foundation thinks so:

“A short nap is usually recommended (20-30 minutes) for short-term alertness. This type of nap provides significant benefit for improved alertness and performance without leaving you feeling groggy or interfering with nighttime sleep….

Naps can restore alertness, enhance performance, and reduce mistakes and accidents. A study at NASA on sleepy military pilots and astronauts found that a 40-minute nap improved performance by 34% and alertness 100%….

Sleep experts also recommend that if you feel drowsy when driving, you should immediately pull over to a rest area, drink a caffeinated beverage and take a 20-minute nap.” (The caffeine kicks in after 20 minutes so it can help wake you up!)

Even though, the  experts are still weighing in on how long the perfect nap should be, they tend to agree the best time is in the afternoon, between 1 and 4 PM.

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I believe one of the key benefits of a nap is the fact that we admit we need or want one and are willing to give ourselves a break. It’s a refreshing form of self-care and a great way to lessen the stress we put on ourselves. And, summer is a great time to discover the nap length and location that is best for you – an hour nap in the sun might be perfect on the weekend while a ten minute snooze at your desk may be just the thing you need on a weekday.

It’s free, it’s fun and you may awaken with a new outlook, increased energy and creativity and be more alert and ready to deal with the details of the day.

To learn more about the art and science of napping click here, here,  here and here.

 

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Blossom

May you fully blossom this summer.

Bud (2)

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Meditation and moments of joy and fear

I am all about meditation this summer. I am talking about it weekly in a Summer Joy Club I am facilitating based on Martha Beck’s, The Joy Diet, which begins by focusing on fifteen minutes a day of meditation or simply doing nothing.

I am expanding my daily meditation practice with the free meditation series that Oprah and Deepak Chopra are currently offering.  On Day 10 in the series Oprah talks about joy and fear, and how often we worry when experiencing joy that it is all too good to be true and we let fear overtake our joyful moments, or follow quickly on their heels.

IMG_1688 (2)I know what that feels like. Yesterday, I was on a lovely garden estate on Long Island, sitting in the shade, reading, and feeling happy and joyful about the moment. And, then I felt this sense of guilt slowly creeping into my mind. “Who was I? Why should I”, etc. , etc.

Luckily, instead of giving into the guilt OR beating up on myself for feeling guilty – I simply took a deep and cleansing breathe and went back to my reading! That is one of the many benefits of meditation – it helps you stay in the moment even when you are not meditating!

Deepak suggests that we say to ourselves – in moments like the one I was having or when other types of negative thoughts or feelings of hopelessness begin to rise . . . “I want better than this; I side with hope.” 

In her latest book, Diana, Herself: An Allegory of Awakening (The Bewilderment Chronicles Book 1), Martha Beck suggests we calm our fears by asking for help from whoever our personal higher power or spiritual belief is, and then say to ourselves, “May you be well, may you be safe, may you live in joy and peace.”

I suggest you use either or both options, because you do deserve better, there is always hope, and I truly wish that you be well, that you are safe and that you live in joy and peace.

My most fervent wish of all is that you realize you deserve better, there is always hope, and you can be well, safe and living in joy and peace – without any guilt!

Namaste.

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Getting unstuck

Oprah and Deepak Chopra are currently offering a free meditation series and each day they include questions for reflection. The series is about getting “unstuck”, and whether or not you are participating in the meditations, I think the Day 3 questions offer a positive solution.

Reflect on a challenge in life that makes you feel stuck. Choose something familiar that comes up every day. . .

See in your mind’s eye someone else in the same situation who is handling it well, without being stuck. Journal about how this person responds differently from you. For example, “She stays calm,” “Her buttons aren’t pushed,” “She’s not resentful,” or “She doesn’t blame someone else.”

Challenge (2)Now, picture yourself using one of the responses you noticed – instead of picking up that bag of chips, go for a walk, make a phone call, stretch, clean a drawer or work on a project. Instead of getting angry, walk away or breathe deeply. Your options are truly endless, and just imagining yourself doing something different is a huge first step.

Get creative, add a bit of humor. The key is – instead of beating yourself up for staying stuck – imagine yourself gliding effortlessly through the situations that challenge you and how wonderful that will feel. Then savor those feelings to create a sense of accomplishment, to build your confidence and to give yourself a new view of how your life can be.

The more time you spend noticing how others respond, creating new options for yourself and trying out those ideas, the less sticky your life will be! Guaranteed!!

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Savor a simple summer pleasure

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