Finding your place in “space”

One more quote from Viktor Frankl that has improved my life. (This post is a Wishful Thinking Works from 2013.)

Wishful Thinking Works: Create the life you really want

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”  Viktor E. Frankl

Earlier this week, I chatted online with a friend to prevent myself from writing a petty and knee-jerk response to someone else. Chatting with my friend, and following the tips below, helped me find the space I needed so I wouldn’t do or say something I would regret.

Later in the week the topic of controlling our responses came up with two other friends on two different topics. It’s amazing how easy it is for all of us to take the bait, verbally one-up someone, or feel the need to have the last word.

But with practice and lots of fun, flow, and fulfillment in our lives the need to negatively respond to life’s surprises and slights and the gentle ribbing or intended jabs of others grows less and less and our ability to find positive ways to handle touchy, hurtful, or stressful situations…

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A personal challenge

Oh so true!

Wishful Thinking Works: Create the life you really want

Another inspiring Viktor E. Frankl quote;

Patrice Koerper Life Coach Speaker Wishful Thinking Works

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” 

I love it when I figure that out early in the game!

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New Year Meaningful Musings

I hope 2018 is particularly meaningful for you. I am presenting on the topic today so it is close to my heart and always on my mind.

Frankl Quote Photo

 

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Capture what truly mattered in 2017

notebook-731212__180As the New Year rolls around it is way too easy to get bogged down in what we didn’t accomplish or do this year and to start making long lists of what we need to do in the 2018.

I think a much more rewarding way to start the New Year is to remember how wonderful you are by creating your personal WTW “Ta Da” List 2017.

I created the list years ago for a Wishful Thinking Works post and I use it twice a year to remind myself of all the good things – big or small – that have happened or that I have accomplished. Focusing on the positives and growth in our life is a great motivator and provides a stable foundation for future plans.

Why not use New Year’s Eve to celebrate you and what you have done instead of worrying about what you didn’t do?

Even if 2017 was your toughest year yet, you survived, and that is worth celebrating.

champagne-584072_960_720If you are alone on New Year’s Eve, embrace it!

Buy some bubbly, treat yourself to food you love, pop in a movie, read a good book or soak in a luxurious bath and savor being you.

Some of my best New Year’s Eves were spent alone – outdoors, reflecting on all the good things in my life. I sipped something wonderful, tasted something delicious and savored the moments.

As the New Year dawns, don’t worry about what’s next, just enjoy what is. You made it this far in life and have so much more to look forward to.

Happy New Year!

 

Words and stories that create magic

It is funny how words and stories come into our life. What is even more interesting to me is what makes them stick in our minds and become part of our stories and thoughts.

I recently attended a Christmas concert at a nearby church and one of the readings included the following essay from Robert Fulghum’s “All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten”. 

“I do know what I want someone to give me for Christmas. I’ve known since I was forty years old. Wind-up mechanical toys that make noises and go round and round and do funny things. No batteries. Toys that need me to help them out from time to time. The old fashioned painted tin ones I had when I was a child. That’s what I want. Nobody believes me. It’s what I want I tell you.

Well, okay, that’s close, but not quite exactly it. Its delight and simplicity that I want. Foolishness and fantasy and noise. Angels and miracles and wonder and innocence and magic. That’s closer to what I really want.

Its harder talk about, but what I really, really, really want for Christmas is just this:

I want to be 5 years old again for an hour. I want to laugh a lot and cry a lot. I want to be picked or rocked to sleep in someone’s arms, and carried up to bed just one more time. I know what I really want for Christmas: I want my childhood back.

Nobody is going to give me that. I might give at least the memory of it to myself if I try. I know it doesn’t make sense, but when is Christmas about sense, anyway? Its about a child, of long ago and far away, and it is about the child of now. In you and me. Waiting behind the door of our hearts for something wonderful to happen. A child who is impractical, unrealistic, simpleminded, and terribly vulnerable to joy. A child who does not need or want or understand the gifts of socks or pot holders.”

― Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

magical-1090663__340The readings were shared by the mayor of the town in which the church was situated. He was a youngish looking man in his early 60’s. Mid-reading, his voice cracked. He tried to continue, but as he stumbled verbally toward the sentence, “I want to be picked up or rocked to sleep in someone’s arms, and be carried up to bed just one more time.” tears formed and rolled down his cheeks. He paused, looked out at the crowd of hundreds, and in this ultra-vulnerable moment, realized the crowd was with him. He smiled slightly and shrugged his shoulders and continued. This was a safe environment for flowing tears, memories and moments of tenderness.  

I’m sure many in the audience teared up. I did. For him, for myself, for all of us – for dreams unrealized and yet to come. In that moment, I believe that most of us became children again, and yearned, or at least understood the yearning for the magic of Christmas.

Fulghum’s words, and the feelings they elicited, have stuck with me and have become part of my Christmas magic, and now I share them with you. I share them as a reminder that Christmas is a time of magic. Magic we can create for the children inside ourselves and for the children around us – young and old.

Reach inside and out of yourself this holiday season to touch the hearts of those around you. You will fill your soul and create lifelong memories for those you touch. And, that, is the true magic of Christmas.

 

 

 

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Change the world today

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Wake up with the intention of changing the world today!

Reach out.

Make the first move.

Hold a door, smile more.

Write an email or a check. 

Love more deeply and openly. 

Send those cards, make the call. 

Say thank you or I’m sorry, sit quietly. 

Change the world by sharing and caring.

Making it today’s priority, will make it happen.

Never underestimate the value of kindness and caring.

Small, but gentle gestures have the power to travel fast and far. 

Create a shooting star

of love. Let it go.

Watch it grow.

Share this post to share a bit of holiday cheer. Be part of changing the world today.  Spread the message – even the smallest gesture matters & kindness makes a difference.

 

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15 minutes of quiet can give you peace

University of Rochester researcher Thuy-vy T. Nguyen, M.A. recently completed 4 studies related to solitude.  Here’s one of the major findings her work revealed summed-up nicely by Bella DePaulo Ph.D. in a recent Psychology Today article:

 

“In short, the people who sat alone by themselves for 15 minutes with no electronic devices, and who got to choose what to think about, or who thought about positive things (by choice or by assignment) had very positive experiences of solitude. They felt calmer and less angry or anxious, without also feeling any sadder or lonelier, and without losing any of their feelings of excitement or enthusiasm.”

15 minutes of quiet – no phones, laptops, Echo or Alexa – can increase positive feelings and reduce stress. How wonderful is that?

Here’s how to unwrap this personalized, peaceful present that will keep on giving to you throughout the year!

  • Sit quietly for 15 minutes.
  • Think about any positive thoughts you like.
    • Relive your happiest or simply fond memories or anything else that brings you pleasure.
  • And, then enjoy the benefits of feeling more peaceful!

Give yourself this free and easy, sure-fire gift to make your life feel more relaxing and fulfilled this holiday season.

You deserve it! Unwrap your 15-minutes-a-day for the next 21 days, and see how your happiness grows.

“Tis the Season to be . . .

Enjoy!

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