Wishful Thinking Works: Create the life you really want

Quick review . . . last two weeks: 

• Discussed new trend “sweeping the country” of making one and only one New Year’s Resolution to reduce wriggle room and build in more accountability, thereby dramatically increase the odds of our success;
• Named the trend OTAT (“oh-tat”), because all the cool trends have names . . .
• Described how to select your one thing, all the while keeping in mind that it must be something that will radically change your life, and is probably something you have delayed or denied addressing in the past. 

Then I asked three questions, well, actually I asked two questions, the third item listed was a statement – my mistake. I corrected it below, and changed the first two questions!  Please answer the new ones below:

1. What do you want to accomplish? (That’s your one thing.)
2. Have you tried in the past to accomplish this goal? (Delaying or Denying)
3. How long do you think it will take to accomplish your “one thing”?

1. What do you want to accomplish?

Okay, now that you have your one thing, state it as though it has already occurred.  Begin with:

“I am”  . . .  as in,  “I am so happy I am a non-smoker”; “I am excited I have a new job”; “I am so excited I registered for the GMAT”; “I am so pleased to be earning $______ annually”; “I am glad to be eating healthier” or “I am so happy I decided to ________”.  Create your intention in the present tense and make sure it is a positive statement vs I am glad I am no longer smoking, drinking, gambling, spending, shopping, etc. etc. The more descriptive you make your intention the better.

Please remember this process is about you. What you want – not your spouse, significant other, friends, boss, parent, etc. You, and only you, get to pick what area you want to focus on.

2. Create a gratitude related to your intention.

Now, find a way to be thankful for what you already have related to your intention.  If you want a new job, you could be thankful for the one you have, or if you do not have a job, for the one you had before, or the training or education you received in the past – dig deep if you have to, but write a gratitude, or two or three. Then savor them. Take a moment to think about them and the good they have brought into your life.

Believe it or not, this step can really flip that switch in your brain and light-up your future by helping you focus on what you have and what’s ahead.

3. Develop an action plan.

Okay, you knew this was coming . .  . make it measurable, specific and detailed.  (You can do it, no doubt in my mind.)

Remember this is about radical change in your life. Change involves action, and action is physical and interlaced, if not dependent, upon deadlines.  Create and keep them.

Make sure your action steps are relevant.  Ask yourself how they impact your intention.  If you can’t come up with a good answer, choose different action steps. 

Next, ask yourself,  if the steps are realistic and something you will stick to.  The key to success is being successful.  Huh?

What I mean is, if you really want change, select action steps that no matter how small will lead you in the right direction. Action itself is so key to the process that the value of small doable steps far outweighs long lists of  lofty, exciting, extremely difficult or unachievable steps. Yes, you want to stretch yourself, and yes, your steps should reflect that, but so many of us have an all or none mindset – we do nothing or create grandiose plans, and then throw in the towel the minute the going gets tough, which amounts to well, doing nothing. Doing nothing is not conducive to change. I don’t recommend it.

Keep asking yourself as you create your plan, “Is this step relevant and realistic?”  “Am I stretching myself enough and still leaving room for success?” And, then listen to your answers.  If you have tried working on this intention before and it hasn’t worked, why not?  (Question #2 above.) Figure out how to deal with that in your action steps. 

Put all these steps in writing and keep them in front of you everyday.  Find a way to weave them and the changes you are working on into your daily life. Send yourself messages, emails, letters, etc. as reminders. Find small ways to reward yourself along the way.  Tell others, who you trust, about your plan.  Cut out and post pictures.  Do whatever works for you. And, last and absolutely not least, do not let anyone, even those naysaying, nagging little voices we all carry around in our heads, talk you out of realizing your intention.

Okay, you are ready.  This is it!  2011. The year you get to say, ” I am ______________________”, and mean it – to savor and relish your success. 

So how long will this take?  Hmm, Question #3, the big one. I am suggesting a formula used by life coach, author and radio talk show host, David Essel. David developed and has successfully used the “One Thing” theory with his clients for years along with a timeline he swears by, which I am going to share with you. (I have used it myself, so that is a double-vouch for it.)

The “20/5/90” Formula

If you have selected a realistic intention that you truly care about and will radically impact your life; created a related atmosphere of gratitude; developed relevant, realistic, time-specific action steps, which you work on at least 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for 90 days – you will experience success.   

That means by April 1, of 2011, you will be reaping the rewards of starting an OTAT trend by setting and implementing one and only one New Year’s Resolution. Take the OTAT plunge. You can do it!  

New Year’s Day will be here before you know it, begin working on your plans today. Later this week, I will have an OTAT page under the Resources tab above, so all the details will be in one place.   

If you have questions or would like to use life coaching to help you make changes in your life, email me, Patrice Koerper at wishfulthinkingworks@gmail.com, and you will be on your way before the New Year.