Many different events bring us to particular points in our lives.
The simple explanation for my being here, in this chair, typing away at this moment is: “I have to.”
(I love saying that – “I have to.” Saying it makes me feel like a 10 year-old kid, instead of a grown woman, and for the most part, I have found that doing anything a 10 year-old kid might do is usually fun and a good stress reliever.)
This blog is part of an assignment for something I care about. So, here I am.
That’s the simple reason.
The real reason is much more complicated, and includes the fact that I am starting a new venture, following a dream. And, as part of that process, I am willing to do something I thought I couldn’t or wouldn’t ever do – blog.
I am taking a risk – a big, hairy, scary, make-my-spine-tingle, curl-my-toes, gives me the heebie-geebies (no clue how to spell that one) kind-of risk. And, I must admit that at some level, deep down, that is exciting – nauseating, but exciting.
Taking the risk makes me feel brave. My fear is slowly turning into courage. (Geez, the minute I said that I went back to feeling nauseated.)
Did I mention that taking risks scares me? Big-time, gut-wrenching, shoulder-shaking, pleaseeeee-make-it-stop – scares me.
Do you remember the board game Risk? We loved that game as kids, but it also made us crazy – all those tiny colored pieces, having to conquer all those innocent countries. I honestly do not remember finishing that game one single time without at least a few sibling rivalry or competition filled moments – in fact, most of the time one of us ended the game in tears.
Risk taking has lots of other negative connotations for me, and society helps reinforce them. Often, when we hear or see the word “risk” it is followed by a limiting or restrictive word such as:
- or management. (There are entire USDA approved risk management agencies, for goodness sake.)
Or even worse, we find it preceded by the word – “at” – as in “at-risk”, a common educational and societal label, which carries a dubious, if not downright negative connotation, and can create a legacy that is hard to shake.
No wonder taking risks seems so scary. Wish me luck!