Wishful Thinking leads to growth and change, which usually involves a level of risk, and risk-tasking requires courage, emotional courage.
In my very first blog post, I shared that my first reaction to taking risks usually involves fear and procrastination. Years ago, I learned to use a series of activities to increase my courage and face my fears because I knew I couldn’t create the life I really wanted without change, a bit of risk and deeper emotional courage.
The idea of combining the steps into a diet came to me after re-reading the book “The Joy Diet” by life coach and Oprah magazine columnist, Martha Beck. I read “The Joy Diet” the first time about 18 years ago, and immediately started successfully using it to create more joy in my life.
Beck lists “Taking Risks” as the fifth step of her ten-step plan for finding joy. She encourages us to take risks that make sense and are oriented in the direction of our dreams. She has one warning: the risk must be scary; I realized quickly that dealing with that which scares us takes courage, emotional courage.
I hope my “Courage Diet” helps and encourages you, as much as it has motivated, guided and supported me.
To get started, all you need is a pen or pencil and a journal or notebook, and the wish to change your life, even just a little.
My Courage Diet
Begin by writing a list of all the brave or difficult-to-accomplish things you admire others for having done.
Just begin listing anyone or any activity you think is brave in a notebook solely for this purpose. Don’t censor your thoughts – simply ask yourself who you think is brave and then write down the name of anyone or anything who comes to mind. I like using a notebook or journal for this activity because it is easier to keep those items around than random pieces of paper, and you are more likely to return a journal or notebook to add new names or thoughts.
Identifying who or what you think is brave is a helpful step in determining what you value. It can help you unearth dreams and ideas for your future. It can help steer you in the right direction. It may even help you create a plan for the life you really want..
Go for it! And, please do not censor your thoughts. Write down anything that comes to mind. Later you can review your list to gain a better understanding of what your thoughts mean to you.
Add to your list – daily, weekly, monthly or annually. The more you add, the more likely you are to continue adding names and ideas and this will increase the number of thoughts that pop-up for you, all of which can help you better understand who you want to be and how you want your life to look and feel.
Cherish this process and your journal or notebook – it will become a treasure trove of information about and for you.
Now, please write a list of all the brave or difficult-to-accomplish things YOU have done!
List every single challenge you have faced and every fear you have conquered. Remember, there was a time when tying your shoe, passing your driver’s test, and getting your first kiss, date, degree or job – seemed very, very scary. Include the terrifying ones as well, surviving divorce, the death of a loved one, and giving-up cigarettes, alcohol and /or drugs.
Try not to think, just write. Set a timer for 10 minutes – writing and creating a deadline are essential parts of the process.
Then reread your list; fill-in any blanks; round-out the details and add any other brave acts that come to mind. (You can keep adding to the list forever!)
Each day, pick one item on the list to review and revisit. Take a minute to fully picture the scene or situation and to feel the memories and sensations it brings. Remember how good it felt when you . . .
Sixty seconds of reminiscing can bring you a flush of positive feelings and a nice boost of of emotional courage, which can also enhance your resiliency.
Note: Step 1 is really important, so please do it even if it seems silly. You are actually changing your brain for the better when you savor positive thoughts. Different chemicals and hormones are released when you are thinking happy or pleasant thoughts than when you are stressing over worrisome ones. You have much greater control over your beautiful brain and all the thoughts it creates for you than you realize. If you feed your brain a regular diet of positivity, gratitude, and awe you will reap the rewards of more courageous, resilient. inspirational and calming mindset.
Think of the music that gets you going and in a great mood.
For me “Eye of the Tiger” is a sure winner no matter what I am trying to conquer (no laughing, please). Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration” (no snickering, either) and Kenny Loggins’ “This is It” got me through my undergrad degree. Alaniss Morisette and Tina Turner kept me focused through relationship upheavals; classical music helped me with my Masters and Joe Cocker, Aretha Franklin and Iron & Wine’s “The Trapeze Swinger” kept me company in the Peace Corps. And, “Hallelujah” makes me feel inspired any time I hear it, and this version truly touches my heart.
It’s your pick, your list, your music. Don’t censor your choices. Go with what works for you!
Now, put the music in a format that is easy to access and then, listen to it! Once, twice, three times a day – at home, in the car, running, walking, whatever it takes to keep you feeling motivated. (Shadow boxing in the shower is fully acceptable, as well!)
Create a list of movies that have inspired you. Select movies based on real people, who have faced real challenges. People, who have stepped in and out of their comfort zones, and achieved their dreams.
“Rudy,” “Rocket Boys/October Sky,” “Cinderella Man,” and “The Greatest Game Ever Played” are some of my favorites. I’ll also add “Tin Cup” to the list, it is not in my top 10, but there are some scenes I adore. A newer movie I enjoyed is “All Saints”, which shares the power of believing and community. (Remember all of this is up to you, it’s your choice. Be honest about what you love.)
Carve out time to watch these movies or if you are short on movie-watching time go to the Internet Movie Database or to the official site of the movie, or see if the movie’s trailer is on YouTube. If you already love a movie, reading about it or watching the trailer will bring all the good feelings associated with it back to you. Or, simply, replay the film in your mind, remembering the scenes, music, and characters that made it special to you.
If you cannot think of a single inspiring movie, go to the American Film Institute’s “100 Years 100 Cheers” web site and download their list of the 100 most inspiring movies. Keep watching until you feel energized and inspired.
Make a list of books or stories that have inspired you. Include your childhood favorites.
Read them again. If you are crunched for time, read the first and last chapters or your favorite passages, or even an online summary. It only takes a few minutes or a quick glance to bring back the memories and the meaning they held for you. Even going to Amazon or Barnes & Noble online and seeing the cover, will bring some of those good feelings back!
Your brain is an amazing, high-tech, personalized support tool. By using My Courage Diet, you have prime it with good thoughts, which it will automatically release when you take a moment or two to reconnect with the moments and memories you love. Don’t let this gold mine of goodness sit idle. Unearth the buried treasures that motivate and inspire you.
Repeat diet steps 1-4, as necessary. Repetition does not imply defeat or failure in any way; rather it reveals bravery and resiliency. When we rewind and recycle what has worked for us in the past, we are showing a high level of emotional competency, and it’s a great way for us to face new or stressful choices and challenges.
Please add anything you want to the diet or change it in any way that gets you ready to take on the world and create the world the life you really want.
It is Your Courage Diet now; go for it!
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