How to become your personal congruency champion

Creating change takes action, and action in the direction of your dreams is a form of congruency. It’s walking the walk, not just talking the talk. It’s doing what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it. It’s living according to your values. 

Congruency, if you let it, can be a powerful motivator and an amazing life enhancer. Here’s how:

After you have moved in the directions of the dreams by taking a risk or moving forward with an action step on the way to a goal – give yourself credit for doing it. Each and every time you accomplish your daily goal or just do something that is in accordance with your values or your dreams, stop and tell yourself something kind, supportive and energizing.


  • “Wow, I did it. I walked for 30 minutes. I did just what I said I would do. I’m really happy that I did what I said I would. I’m good at doing what I say I will do.”
  • “I promised myself I would start using Active/Constructive communication more often, and I did. It felt great and I could see how happy it made . . . it felt good for me too, and I feel proud that I did what I said I was going to do. I’m good at doing what I say I will do.”
  • “That wasn’t easy, but man doing it felt great!  Come to think of it, “I’m good at doing what I say I will do.”
  • “Passing up that piece of pie wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, feels great to be taking better care of myself.  I’m really am good at doing what I say I will do.”
  • “Not smoking is killing me, but I feel great to be doing what’s important to me in the long run. I’m good at doing what I say I will do.”

5 tips to becoming  your personal congruency champion:

  1. Be specific – include the action you took when you give yourself credit.
  2. Be you – put your supportive statements in your words; they have to sound right to you.
  3. Be positive – always end with the sentence “I’m good at doing what I say I will do.” It took courage, energy and commitment to do what you did, so you are not exaggerating or lying – you are good at it!
  4. Be consistent – try to champion yourself each and every time you do what you say you are going to do. Repetition is important when forming a new habit, and becoming your own congruency champion is new for most folks. So no matter how corny or awkward it feels, do it and keep doing it! Learn to catch yourself doing good, and the verbally reward yourself for doing it.
  5. Be aware– take 30 seconds to savor at least one congruent moment a day.  You can savor the feeling right after you do it, or before you go to sleep at night, or first thing each morning – pick the time that works for you.
    1. Please note: This is an important part of the change process, because walking the walk can be difficult and may not feel uplifting or rewarding on any given day or in any particular moment, but feeling good about doing what you said you were going to do is an empowering elixir, and if you let it, it can change your life – so savor your success.

Change takes change, and for many of us living in accordance with our wishes and giving ourselves credit for doing what we said we were going to do, is new – it’s a change. Achieving change takes support. Becoming your own congruency champion is a great way to give yourself the support you need.

I know you can do it!

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