If not . . .

if-not-youSeveral times a month, I meet with groups of wonderful Wishful Thinking Women. At our Saturday gathering earlier this month, we were talking about procrastination, and one of the women shared a phrase, which her Dad had often said to her. She noted that it had inspired her many times to do kind and caring things for others and for herself.

I had heard the phrase before, and had used it as a personal rallying cry to right social ills or widespread wrongs, but I had never thought of applying it to myself!

If not you, who will treat you in just the way you need and desire? How can others know how to treat us, if we do not treat ourselves with kindness, grace, joy, peace and a sense of gratitude and abundance?

If not now, when? Start today to treat yourself the way you wish others would. Move forward with your plans to go back to school, find quiet time, begin a diet or take that trip.

What are you waiting for? If you need permission, Sylvia’s Dad would surely say it is okay. And, Sylvia is such a warm, caring woman, her Dad must have been a very wise man!

You can do it!

Do the next right thing

“Do the next right thing.”

This short missive has helped me many times in my life. stepping-stones-763985_960_720When I am feeling confused, overwhelmed, frustrated or lazy and bored, it always gets me moving forward.

You see, I don’t have to have all the answers or figure out a solution. I don’t even have to wonder how or why I got myself into a situation. All I have to do is the next right thing.

Usually when I ask myself what the next right thing is, I think of three or four things that seem right, and then I just pick the one that is most important to me at that moment in my life.

The other day, the next right thing was to write cards to three people I care deeply about and who will be happy to receive a thank-you, get well, or “thinking of you” note in the mail.  Relationships matter a great deal to me, so that was an easy pick over the laundry and dishes that were waiting for me, but until I posed the actual question to myself – the cards and stamps sat on the dining room table.

On a different day, writing a post or sending work emails might get bumped to the front of the line. Or something much more important, such as apologizing to someone, may take top billing. The choice is yours.

Doing the next right thing is an act of faith in yourself and your priorities. It comes from knowing what really matters to you. It is a softer, more flexible type of to-do list. And, if you like checking things off, you can keep on ongoing “ta-da” list handy to write them down as you complete them along with a nice big check mark.

You will feel so good after doing the next right thing, you will be motivated to accomplish more of the items that come to mind. Until, of course, the next right thing to do is to relax, which will be much easier to do, when you know you’ve already done the right thing!

You can do it!

 

 

Queen for a day

Or a lifetime . . .

queen

Check out my “Courage Diet”

It is free and easy to use, and can move you in the direction of your dreams!

 “Like” Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook.

Wishful Thinking Women

new-pageEvery Wishful Thinking Women Meetup is great, but this week’s truly was amazing. Thank you, ladies! What a fabulous start to 2017!

So much fun to spend time with such interesting, creative, brave, and wonderfully kind women! Welcome to our newbies, and thank you to those who join us month after month, year to year! Love talking with you all.

Here are a few of the comments from this week’s Meetup . . .

“Very uplifting meeting and great group of ladies! Thank you all for your input.”

“It was so good to be with such vibrant women. Thank you for sharing your dreams!!”

“Loved meeting this group of beautiful, forward thinking women.”

Find your “tribe” hold them close and visit with them often!

You can do it!

Tips for keeping your spirits bright

Ho! Ho! Ho!  For the past 5 years I have been sharing tips for making your holiday season as merry and bright as possible.

This year, I have complied a list of links to some of my favorite holiday survival posts just for you! Click away to revive your heart and soul and to create a richer, warmer holiday.snowflake-1823942_960_720

What do you want to hold in your heart this holiday season? How we think can affect our holiday much more than any of the gifts we give or receive.

Social Media Quick Holiday Pick-Me-Up  Easy ways to use social media to warm your heart.

A less stressed holiday season. Tune into what you really care about to create your best holiday season ever.

Christmas memories  Research shows reliving positive memories can be good for our hearts and minds. Don’t have any? No problem – I include tips on how to make that work for you, as well.

On the first day of Christmas . . .  Offers tips on how to survive a trip home and is based on the holiday musical classic!

Enjoy!  I will post a few more in the days ahead. Until then, happy holidays!

 

Opportunity

When bad things have happened

If you have had a traumatic experience, or have avoided dealing with an upsetting topic or situation that has plagued or worried you for years, there is an effective fix that can get you on the road to recovery. It is called expressive writing and works like this:

  1. Commit 20 minutes a day – for 4 consecutive days
  2. Then in a quiet, private place, and write for 20 minutes a day for 4 consecutive days
    • Make it personal and private
    • Ignore grammar and misspellings
    • Be honest – are you happy ,sad, glad, mad or all of the above?
    • Be reflective not corrective (Don’t try to fix what is bothering you but rather write about what is bothering you.)
    • Only write about what you can handle thinking about – sometimes dealing with a fresh hurt or pain is too intense.
  3. Optional step: Write about same topic from the perspective of others involved . . . tricky but helpful, if you choose to do so.

notebook-731212__180Expressive writing is a concrete action, which is a much better way to deal with problems and challenges than ignoring them and ruminating about the dark situations and sides of our lives. For a video about emotional writing, and additional instructions and insights on how to do it, click here.

Research shows that emotional writing may leave you feeling sad immediately after you write (This is similar to how a sad movie might make you feel.), or you may cry while writing; both are normal and okay.  But, if writing  causes you major distress, simply stop and try again at another time when you feel more ready to explore your feelings.

Expressive writing will leave you feeling happier and healthier. Studies show the positive effects can impact immune functions and last for months and maybe even a lifetime, if you continue the writing as needed.

Pick up a pen and paper, find a cozy spot and write to change your life. It’s free, takes very little time, and may reward you with peace of mind and a much more positive perspective on life.

James W Pennebaker, Ph.D., and Professor at University of Texas at Austin is a leader in the research on this topic. Click here to visit his web page and learn more on the topic.

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