Quiet Moments

Quiet Moments by Wishful Thinking Works

Mykonos, Greece – This is one of the most beautiful moments from our recent three weeks abroad. When these soul-savoring moments arise, I have learned to breathe deeply and pause to savor the tranquility and the beauty, and to soak-up the scene, letting it settle into my heart, my head, my body.
Living your life with pause, can change your perspective and totally realign your heart and soul, and maybe even your future.
I paused again this morning when looking past another deep-set window sill at our tiny backyard’s glossy green, rain-soaked grass. Magic moments are everywhere. Don’t miss the chance to change or enhance your life by pausing.
And, breathe . . .
Warmest regards,
Patrice

Your life begins when you do . . .

IMG_2403 (2)I have been traveling abroad over the last few weeks and am now spending a few days in Athens, Greece in a little apartment with a beautiful garden terrace, billowing soft white curtains and great wifi. Life is good.

This post from popped up this morning, and it reminded me how dramatically my life changed when I began living it!

I read Mary Anne Radmacher’s inspirational little book Life Begins When You Do back in 2011 when I wrote this post. For those of you who are letting life pass you by, please don’t! I began living mine more fully about 20 years ago, and almost every day continues to surprise and delight me.  

Mary Anne Radmacher’s words . . .

Nearly everyone postpones one grand thing or a collection of mighty hopes and dreams.

Between the quote marks of our lives are phrases like these: “When things slow down…when I finish my degree…when I get certified…as I acquire a deeper knowledge base…when I have kids…when the kids are grown…when I get well…when I marry…when I divorce…when I retire…when I get that promotion, that raise, that job, that house, that whatever the fill-in-the blank is for your specific postponing of life…”

Your Life Begins When You Do.

You may think you are postponing the longing of your soul until life aligns itself with your vision, until elements conspire to be more favorable…but as it happens, life just lolls along at the same remarkable consistent and disinterested cadence. Life is impartial. YOUR personal, subjective life (dreams, satisfactions, contentment, achievements, vision, fullness, passion, aspirations) begins when you begin.

From my teens into adulthood, I said, “I want to be an artist.” One day I changed the sentence to, “I am an artist.” My view changed. Life began. I looked behind me and saw that I had been accidentally living as an artist. I had been laying down a path that was only now visible to eyes that had begun to see. Beginning my life as an artist made my heart’s longing and the small, tentative labors of my hands – visible and tangible. I began by opening the door and simply believing that I could live my dream. I began living that dream by seeing that I could.

Your purpose, that thing that among the many to-dos of your days, is what you must do. Embrace the truth of your purpose each minute of your precious life…for how very true it is that life begins when you do.

If you would dream it . . . BEGIN it.

If you have an idea . . . OPEN it.

If there is longing . . . ACKNOWLEDGE it.

If there is mission . . . COMMIT it.

If there is daring . . . DO it.

If there is love  . . . SPEAK it.

If there is resource  . . . USE it.

Don’t delay living the life of your dreams. You can begin this weekend. Check my Resource section and posts to get started. 

With hope and dreams,

Patrice

 

You can do it!

 Click here to make the Summer of 2017 your season of change with

Wishful Thinking Works Life Coaching!

Create a new you or unearth the you, you used to be.

It’s effective and affordable, and you are worth it!

Visit Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook for posts and updates.

 “Like” Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook.

New beginnings

Spring has sprung and summer is heading our way.

It is the perfect time for renewing your spirit and taking on new adventures.

Spring (2)

Today, I’m hosting my first Wishful Thinking Women’s Meetup group on Long Island! It’s all about positivity and creating the lives we really want. My Wishful Thinking Women’s Meetup group in the Fort Myers, Florida area has 900+ members and has been going strong for 6 years this month! Fun to be starting and sharing “up north”; I can’t wait to meet everyone.

What new and exciting experiences and adventures do you have planned for the next few months?  How could you stretch yourself personally or professionally? What could you do to repair your spirit? Your Mind? Your heart? Your soul?

Find the new you this summer, or unearth the you, you used to be! Many of us spend more time planting our gardens and planning vacations than we do our lives! Who do you want to be? To feel? To experience?

This is the season for growth and renewal. Why not get in sync with nature by taking time in the next few days or week to reflect on what you truly want to bring into your life, and then begin planting the seeds of change.

Begin by asking yourself these three simple questions. Take the time to write down your answers (at least three sentences for each answer) and draw a picture or two about them. Use your answers to begin daydreaming forward:

  1. What do you want to see through your kitchen window?
  2. When your were a kid what was your favorite thing to do in the summer, why?
  3. What were your favorite books as a kid and as an adult, and why?

Bonus questions – Answering them can bring more happiness into your life and begin planting and sowing the seeds of change this summer – that’s a real bonus!  Go with your first answers.

  • What one thing can you do this week to bring some of the joy your memories and answers brought back to you?
  • How could you create new joy in your life this week?
  • How could you create more joy in the life of someone you care about?

 

You can do it!

 Click here to make the Summer of 2017 your season of change with

Wishful Thinking Works Life Coaching!

Create a new you or unearth the you, you used to be!

Visit Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook for posts and updates.

 “Like” Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook.

 

 

                                         

Let go

Want to learn to let go of control? To let life take care of itself?

I know it is difficult and scary, but at least consider the option. (If just thinking about letting go causes you anxiety, breathe deep and keep reading!)

In a current 21-day free meditation series, Deepak Chopra noted that “your heart beats without you choosing to make it happen”.  How true, and yet we still think we still need to control everything!

mural-1347673__340You do not have to solve every problem that arises – yours or others. And, most challenges do not have to be solved now, or on your own! You can learn to trust yourself, the world and others. (Keep-up those deep breaths . . . )

I’ve done it so many times in my life, and the rewards have been enormous. Deepak reminded me to keep it up, and to apply to everything!  (More deep breaths!)

Deepak advises that “life can take care of itself”.  He suggests that when we recognize an issue needs attention, we take action by “holding an open, neutral intention for a creative solution, and then simply let it go.”

If we allow ourselves to be fully open, our personal awareness and the awareness of the universe will share solutions with us.

Sounds very new agey, but the truth is when we calm down and trust ourselves, solutions flow. Our brains relax, and release calming chemicals and hormones, which allow us to think more clearly and more creatively.

When we trust there is a solution our options begin to grow and develop. And, the truth is, there are many solutions for every single issue we face, being able to see them is the true challenge. That is what letting go is – trusting and seeing.

Let go. Set your intention for a creative solution and relax a bit. The world will not come tumbling down, and the issues we create or face will diminish in size and frequency over time.

It is so much easier to face life with a calm heart and a relaxed mind, and with the belief that there are solutions for everything, even if we do not have the answers right this minute. When you let go, you become the light at the end of every tunnel!

So, take a deep breathe, and let the rest go. Repeat as necessary!

You can do it!

Are you ready? Life could be better  . . . Wishful Thinking Works Life Coaching

Visit Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook for posts and updates.

 “Like” Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook.

Create a vision for your future

“So relaxing and inspiring”

“Fun…made me remember things that I always wanted to do, but forgot about them!”

“Wow, fun and surprising, new ideas popped up.”

Wishful Thinking Women were busy capturing their dreams on vision boards at a gathering earlier this week. I have created many over the years.  They have never failed to inspire me, and I believe they have helped my future far exceed my dreams.

VB April 2017 2 (2)

VB 2017 April (2)

VB April 2017 1 (2)

The “best” vision board is the one you create for yourself! Get busy this weekend capturing your future. It’s easy – all you need is poster board, magazines, scissors, glue and your dreams!

Think about how you want your life to look and feel – and then cut and paste your vision. Keeping it front and center in your life over the next few weeks, month or years will increase the likelihood that your dreams will come true – all it takes is you!

Wishful Thinking Works Vision Boarding tips:

  1. Gather all of your supplies in one place – make sure you have room to spread out.  A variety of magazines works best, but even if you only have a few, go for it.
  2. Set the mood. Pour yourself a glass of wine or a cup of tea, play the music of your choice – this is a great time for new age or classical, but go with what works best for you.
  3. Sit quietly for a moment and take some deep breaths. Say a few positive, comforting phrases to yourself such as:.  “The future of my dreams is waiting for me.”  “How do I want it to look and feel?”  “I am excited about what lies ahead for me.”
  4. And, then go for it! Don’t censor yourself. If something catches your eye, cut it out. You can figure out how it “fits” later.
  5. Once you have a big stack of pictures and words, begin arraigning them on your board. (Dollar Stores sell the thicker foam core poster board for only $1!
  6. Toss anything you cut out that no longer appeals to you – no regrets – we are creating a future that excites and delights you! You are in charge.
  7. Begin gluing the pieces down when you like the arrangement. Nothing has to be perfect here, have fun with it. (You can always create a new board, in fact I recommended doing at least one vision board a year to keep your ideas fresh and flowing, your motivation strong and your inspiration growing. In times of change, try doing one every 3 months or so.)
  8. When you have finished review your board. Create a story for your future, including all the pieces and parts you have captured. Share the story with yourself, as though you are talking to a friend and you have already accomplished everything on the board. Don’t skip this step – no matter how silly it sounds to be taking to yourself – it is key and helps you and your brain truly buy into and reinforce your dreams.

“I just took the trip of a lifetime . . . My new job is amazing . . . I can’t believe I am already done with college/the book/the move . . . This move was the best idea I ever had, I love . . . I feel so much more relaxed now that I am . . . I cannot believe how quickly the pounds came off when I . . . It was hard, but I feel so much better now that I have . . .”

The options are endless and just like your future – the choices are yours.

The future you truly want is waiting for you.  Have fun creating it.

You can do it!

Are you ready? Life could be better  . . . Wishful Thinking Works Life Coaching

Visit Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook for posts and updates.

 “Like” Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook.

Need motivation? Reset your mind!

Dr. Carol S. Dweck is a leading researcher in the field of motivation. In her book “Mindset”, Dweck explains her research and shares her finding that the key to learning and success is closely linked to the degree we believe our intelligence and talents can change and grow.

According to Dweck, your belief as to whether or not you can succeed, is a huge predictor of if you will or not. Why not raise the bar on your thinking, and see what happens?

“I think, I can, I think I can.”

I think I can

Studies show kids who are praised for their effort rather than their brains out perform the “smart” kids on a variety of tasks in both short and long term settings.

Reinforcing a “can do” attitude is much more beneficial than praising kids for how smart they are. Reinforcing a can do attitude in yourself, can help you create the life you really want.

A lack of belief in our efforts can follow us into adulthood and leave us doubting ourselves and our abilities, which can derail our motivation and limit our outlook and our lives. To determine how your mind is currently set, take Dr. Dweck’s 16 question survey, here.

If you find it’s time to reset your mindset, you can change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset by following the steps Dweck outlines on her web page:

Step 1. Learn to hear your fixed mindset “voice.”

As you approach a challenge, that voice might say to you “Are you sure you can do it? Maybe you don’t have the talent.” “What if you fail—you’ll be a failure” “People will laugh at you for thinking you had talent.” “If you don’t try, you can protect yourself and keep your dignity.”

As you hit a setback, the voice might say, “This would have been a snap if you really had talent.” “You see, I told you it was a risk. Now you’ve gone and shown the world how limited you are.” “ It’s not too late to back out, make excuses, and try to regain your dignity.”

As you face criticism, you might hear yourself say, “It’s not my fault. It was something or someone else’s fault.” You might feel yourself getting angry at the person who is giving you feedback. “Who do they think they are? I’ll put them in their place.” The other person might be giving you specific, constructive feedback, but you might be hearing them say “I’m really disappointed in you. I thought you were capable but now I see you’re not.”

Step 2. Recognize that you have a choice.

How you interpret challenges, setbacks, and criticism is your choice. You can interpret them in a fixed mindset as signs that your fixed talents or abilities are lacking. Or you can interpret them in a growth mindset as signs that you need to ramp up your strategies and effort, stretch yourself, and expand your abilities. It’s up to you.

So as you face challenges, setbacks, and criticism, listen to the fixed mindset voice and…

Step 3. Talk back to it with a growth mindset voice.

As you approach a challenge:

THE FIXED-MINDSET says “Are you sure you can do it? Maybe you don’t have the talent.”

THE GROWTH-MINDSET answers, “I’m not sure I can do it now, but I think I can learn to with time and effort.”

FIXED MINDSET: “What if you fail—you’ll be a failure”

GROWTH MINDSET: “Most successful people had failures along the way.”

FIXED MINDSET: “If you don’t try, you can protect yourself and keep your dignity.”

GROWTH MINDSET: “If I don’t try, I automatically fail. Where’s the dignity in that?”

As you hit a setback:

FIXED MINDSET: “This would have been a snap if you really had talent.”

GROWTH MINDSET: “That is so wrong. Basketball wasn’t easy for Michael Jordan and science wasn’t easy for Thomas Edison. They had a passion and put in tons of effort.

As you face criticism:

FIXED MINDSET: “It’s not my fault. It was something or someone else’s fault.”

GROWTH MINDSET: “If I don’t take responsibility, I can’t fix it. Let me listen—however painful it is– and learn whatever I can.”

Then…

Step 4. Take the growth mindset action.

Over time, which voice you heed becomes pretty much your choice. Whether you

  • take on the challenge wholeheartedly,
  • learn from your setbacks and try again
  • hear the criticism and act on it is now in your hands.

Practice hearing both voices, and practice acting on the growth mindset. See how you can make it work for you.

To hear Dr. Dweck, check out her TED Talk.

Don’t be afraid to try something new.  Changing your mind can really change your life!

You can do it!

Are you ready? Life could be better  . . . Wishful Thinking Works Life Coaching

Visit Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook for posts and updates.

 “Like” Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook.

Hope

hope-1804595__340Many of us in the States and around the world are participating and enjoying the Oprah and Deepak Chopra 21-day free meditation series on hope. Each day they share a message and a quote, along with a meditation. I love this quote from Day 3 of the series from Bernard Williams, an English philosopher.

“There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.” – Bernard Williams

I truly believe there is always a solution. When my sons were growing-up, I often shared that thought with them: “I know this is a big deal, but I also know there is always a solution. Let’s sit down and try to figure this out.” Hope also kept me centered and moving forward through a divorce two decades ago, a Masters degree a few years later and three life-changing assignments with the United States Peace Corps 10 or so years ago.  Hope makes tough things manageable and good things great!

You may not have an answer to a dilemma you are facing or a dream your are delaying, but with a calm and centered approach and a sense of hope, finding a positive solution or creating a positive outcome can be a reality. (I believe this to be true on a personal and a global level.)

Here are some hopeful guidelines to help you:

Don't give up

  • Don’t give up too soon, or try too hard. Sleep on it if you can. Give the situation a bit of space – we often create deadlines for ourselves that aren’t necessary or realistic.
  • If you start to feel overwhelmed or hopeless, take at least three deep breaths. (Inhale, slowly – 8 seconds in through the nose, and exhale 8 seconds through the nose).
  • Give yourself a time out! Take time for a bit of peace and quiet. (In nature, cyclones and hurricanes have a calm in their center, known as the eye of the storm. Follow nature’s lead, and give your internal eyes a bit of time so they can relax and refocus to allow them to “see” the situation from a new, calmer perspective.)
  • Ask yourself a series of five questions when dealing with problems.
    1. Does this problem or situation really have to be solved right now?
    2. Is it both urgent and important? (Make sure all deadlines are real – yours and others – and that they truly matter to you.)
    3. Have I faced other problems and solved them successfully?
    4. If your answer to #3 was “Yes”, and the answer to #3 is almost always “Yes”, if we are being truly honest with ourselves ask yourself: What helped me then? (If your answer is honestly a “No” go directly to step question #5.)
    5. What resources – including my own skills and talents and the help of others – do I have to help me solve this problem? (Or,  grow this dream.) Begin figuring out how to use these resources. (I have a free great sheet to help you with this, check it out here.)
  • Don’t let yourself be caught up in anger or the blame game. I know this is much easier said than done, but if you are at least able to say to yourself, “I really do not want to get caught-up in blame games or anger,” you send a calming message to your brain, which will avoid the release of fight or flight chemicals and hormones into your blood stream that anger and blaming always stir-up.
  • Say out loud, as often as you can “I know I/we can figure this out. I know I/we can.” This calming, confidant message releases a swell of positive chemicals and hormones into your body, which will help you relax and think more creatively – increasing the possibility you will resolve the situation positively. (This works for your dreams, as well. “I/we know I can do this. I/we know we can.)

HopeI truly believe you can reduce your stress and sense of despair and turn-up your dream meter by developing a more hopeful outlook and by taking hope-based actions.  Positive responses dramatically increase the likelihood of a positive outcome and help build your personal hope reserves, which make hope more accessible when strife and stress appear or when you begin to doubt yourself or  your abilities.

Another great way to build your reservoirs of hope is to take time to meditate or sit quietly at least five days a week for 15 minutes.  This peaceful, relaxing habit has many positive benefits for your mind and your body and can provide a cushion of calm to protect you from the emotional bumps and bruise of life.

It’s not too late to join the free 21-day meditation series, click here to begin or grow your meditation practice and to gain new perspectives on hope.

Are you ready? Life could be better  . . . Wishful Thinking Works Life Coaching

Visit Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook for posts and updates.

 “Like” Wishful Thinking Works on Facebook.

%d bloggers like this: