Words and stories that create magic

It is funny how words and stories come into our life. What is even more interesting to me is what makes them stick in our minds and become part of our stories and thoughts.

I recently attended a Christmas concert at a nearby church and one of the readings included the following essay from Robert Fulghum’s “All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten”. 

“I do know what I want someone to give me for Christmas. I’ve known since I was forty years old. Wind-up mechanical toys that make noises and go round and round and do funny things. No batteries. Toys that need me to help them out from time to time. The old fashioned painted tin ones I had when I was a child. That’s what I want. Nobody believes me. It’s what I want I tell you.

Well, okay, that’s close, but not quite exactly it. Its delight and simplicity that I want. Foolishness and fantasy and noise. Angels and miracles and wonder and innocence and magic. That’s closer to what I really want.

Its harder talk about, but what I really, really, really want for Christmas is just this:

I want to be 5 years old again for an hour. I want to laugh a lot and cry a lot. I want to be picked or rocked to sleep in someone’s arms, and carried up to bed just one more time. I know what I really want for Christmas: I want my childhood back.

Nobody is going to give me that. I might give at least the memory of it to myself if I try. I know it doesn’t make sense, but when is Christmas about sense, anyway? Its about a child, of long ago and far away, and it is about the child of now. In you and me. Waiting behind the door of our hearts for something wonderful to happen. A child who is impractical, unrealistic, simpleminded, and terribly vulnerable to joy. A child who does not need or want or understand the gifts of socks or pot holders.”

― Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

magical-1090663__340The readings were shared by the mayor of the town in which the church was situated. He was a youngish looking man in his early 60’s. Mid-reading, his voice cracked. He tried to continue, but as he stumbled verbally toward the sentence, “I want to be picked up or rocked to sleep in someone’s arms, and be carried up to bed just one more time.” tears formed and rolled down his cheeks. He paused, looked out at the crowd of hundreds, and in this ultra-vulnerable moment, realized the crowd was with him. He smiled slightly and shrugged his shoulders and continued. This was a safe environment for flowing tears, memories and moments of tenderness.  

I’m sure many in the audience teared up. I did. For him, for myself, for all of us – for dreams unrealized and yet to come. In that moment, I believe that most of us became children again, and yearned, or at least understood the yearning for the magic of Christmas.

Fulghum’s words, and the feelings they elicited, have stuck with me and have become part of my Christmas magic, and now I share them with you. I share them as a reminder that Christmas is a time of magic. Magic we can create for the children inside ourselves and for the children around us – young and old.

Reach inside and out of yourself this holiday season to touch the hearts of those around you. You will fill your soul and create lifelong memories for those you touch. And, that, is the true magic of Christmas.

 

 

 

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15 minutes of quiet can give you peace

University of Rochester researcher Thuy-vy T. Nguyen, M.A. recently completed 4 studies related to solitude.  Here’s one of the major findings her work revealed summed-up nicely by Bella DePaulo Ph.D. in a recent Psychology Today article:

 

“In short, the people who sat alone by themselves for 15 minutes with no electronic devices, and who got to choose what to think about, or who thought about positive things (by choice or by assignment) had very positive experiences of solitude. They felt calmer and less angry or anxious, without also feeling any sadder or lonelier, and without losing any of their feelings of excitement or enthusiasm.”

15 minutes of quiet – no phones, laptops, Echo or Alexa – can increase positive feelings and reduce stress. How wonderful is that?

Here’s how to unwrap this personalized, peaceful present that will keep on giving to you throughout the year!

  • Sit quietly for 15 minutes.
  • Think about any positive thoughts you like.
    • Relive your happiest or simply fond memories or anything else that brings you pleasure.
  • And, then enjoy the benefits of feeling more peaceful!

Give yourself this free and easy, sure-fire gift to make your life feel more relaxing and fulfilled this holiday season.

You deserve it! Unwrap your 15-minutes-a-day for the next 21 days, and see how your happiness grows.

“Tis the Season to be . . .

Enjoy!

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Note to self

Getting over ourselves can lead to insights

Good Morning! 

Life is interesting, little moments of insight and joy can pop-up for us each day in unexpected and unusual places. 

When I started watching this video I really had a strong negative response to the woman being interviewed. I had no clue why but for some reason she rubbed me the wrong way. Fortunately, I decided to stick with it because learning more about meditation is something I value; I decided to focus on the message and not the messenger. I am so glad I did. 

I truly enjoyed Susan Piver’s insights and knowledge, and owe her an apology! Susan shares great information about how our minds behave while meditating – they will wander – lots, and that is okay. She also notes, that the key is to become aware that we are thinking and then gently and kindly return to focusing on our breath. (The realization that we are thinking means we are aware and in the moment, which is the goal of meditation, so while our thinking might distract us, our awareness of it is truly a good thing.) 

She suggested the simple but memorable imagery of watching your breath during meditation as you would a slowing swinging hammock – your breath enters and leaves just as a hammock rocks back and forth. 

If your day gets chaotic or rocky – and whose doesn’t on occasion – treat yourself to the cozy effect of watching a hammock gently rocking back and forth while cradling you and your sweet little overworked brain and then take a deep breath, or two or three and continue on your way. 

Your brain, your heart and your soul will thank you. 

Here’s a video to get you started. If this beach scene isn’t your thing, conjure up the image that makes you feel happy and relaxed. (I am deep in the woods,  listening to the sounds of birds, leaves rustling and for a split second the beauty of silence.) 

 

To listen to Susan’s interview, which was part of the Shambhala Mountain Center “Reality Summit” and is only available today and tomorrow, click here. 

I truly enjoyed it after I got over myself and let go of my personal biases and stereotypical thinking! To key into her comments about the hammock, listen from minutes 9:21 to 12:02. 

Let me know what you think.

Capturing the holiday moments that matter

The holidays are coming! The holidays are coming!

heart-picture-1075034__340No surprise there, but they do seem to appear earlier and earlier each year. A couple of years ago I was faced with new challenges centered on blending our ever-growing and combined family’s holiday expectations and traditions. My husband and I were excited to be spending our first holiday together as a newly married couple when we quickly realized that having five sons and their wonderful families in two far-flung states, could make the holidays more complicated than ever.

My first thought was panic, my second and more sensible thought, was rather than worrying about how we were going to share the holidays with our respective kids and grand kids – we have 12, going on 14 – I would first figure out what truly mattered to me during the holidays, and then trust the rest would fall into place.

I had recently read a positive psychology article on the correlation between what folks value individually and what nations value and how we track both, when a thought resurfaced for me – what we measure grows.

You see, that which we deem important enough to measure, i.e. pay attention to, tends to grow. Ta da!

If I fill my holiday with strife and worry and thoughts of who gathers when and where, I was doomed before I began. BUT if I focused on what really mattered to me, perhaps I could increase the likelihood that those things would increase, or at least that I might be more likely to notice and enjoy those moments when they did appear. 

It worked!  Knowing what mattered and focusing on that made our first and subsequent holiday seasons richer, more memorable and way more fun!

Measure what matters

Christmas Holiday (2)

What do you want to celebrate throughout the holiday season? What are your personal beliefs and values related to the season? In simplest terms, what is most important to you? Family? Love? Togetherness? New Experiences? Tradition? Food? Fun? Religion?

I decided I want to pay more attention to love. I focused on and savored all the acts of love I saw – moments of tenderness and caring, gestures of kindness and sacrifices of any size made in honor and support of the holiday. I was so busy looking for love – that I ignored, or at least didn’t stew as long or as deeply about the less than stellar moments that occurred along the way.

 

How to make your season brighter

  1. Ask yourself what really matters to you. What do you want to hold in your heart this holiday season?
  2. Then capture every moment that matches what matters to you. Note and savor the moments as they occur.
  3. To reinforce your resolve and truly impact your holiday spirit, give yourself a helping hand by using at least one of the suggestions listed below:
    • Jot down your memorable moments in a journal. (You can start a special holiday journal, pack it way with the holiday decorations and have the fun of re-reading and adding to it each year.)
    • Write your moments on bits of paper and store them in a jar to read during or after the holiday. (The jar can be saved from year to year and enjoyed year- long or before next year’s holiday season.)
    • Write your moments on holiday-colored paper and create a paper chain throughout the holiday with all the moments you have enjoyed and want to remember.
    • Encourage your kids, spouses and even your guests to add their special holiday moments to your jar or chain and watch them grow along with everyone’s holiday spirit.
    • Take a few minutes each night before you go to bed or when you wake-up to review these special moments.
    • Or, simply put a penny in a jar or bowl to capture each moment and watch your “riches” grow.

Truth is, we are in control of the holidays ahead. I know it seems like things move way too fast, and that the gift lists, demands and commitments grow longer and greater each year, but in my case so has the love. And, the more I remind myself of that, the brighter my season shines.

Here’s to enjoying the holidays ahead!

Please note: This post has been updated from the original Wishful Thinking Works published in 2015.

 

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Wise words on following your heart

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“Your heart is a compass in a chaotic world. Follow it. Resist anything that looks reeeally good, but feels reeeally bad. Be brave enough to turn away from shiny objects, and toward the light that makes them shine.”  Martha Beck 

Spend quiet time finding out who you are and then follow the paths that delight you!

I promise you, you will never regret it!

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5 Second Mindfulness

Thousands and thousands of us from around the world are participating in Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s latest and, oh so relaxing, free 21-day meditation series.

This mini-meditation was included in the series and I thought it was too wonderful not to share. (The series began on Monday but if you join today, you can still experience all of the first five meditations.)

Try this simple exercise to connect to the here and now, from master of present-moment awareness, Eckhart Tolle.

Tolle says, “Ask yourself, ‘Am I still breathing?’ You suddenly feel the air flowing into your body and out of your body… At that moment, you’ve entered the state of presence. Even if it’s only five seconds.”

Meditation Eckhart Tolle

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