Summer pick-me-up

One of the easiest and quickest pick-me-ups is to remember the special people in your life. Numerous psychology studies have shown that reliving positive moments or time spent with the special people in our lives is a great way to recharge our hearts and souls.

Why not use the power of your imagination to spark a summer day dream about the folks you love or admire? A lazy summer afternoon or those peaceful moments while waking or falling to sleep are the perfect times to bring them to mind. 

  • Who has filled your heart with happiness?
  • Who has made you feel better about yourself or the world.
  • Who has shared special moments or helped you create special times in your life?
  • Who has made you laugh or jump with joy?
  • Who has stood by your side through think or thin?

Why not give them a special seat in your mind?

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Take a minute this weekend to picture your special somebodies with you as you relive all of their kind and generous, hilarious and spontaneous or supportive and caring ways.

I promise you a few heartfelt minutes of revelry can fill your mind and body with warmth and positivity. (It is a neurological fact!) If your mind wanders, simply bring your thoughts back to who you want to share a chair with this summer and the wonderful role they play in your life. (This technique even works if you are remembering a extra helpful clerk or a thoughtful stranger.)

If you are short on people to share your chairs with, simply get yourself comfortable in a cozy spot and picture who you would like to see in your life. Spend a few minutes creating in your mind the memories that you would like to create with them. Be bold, be descriptive, be brave!  (Wishful Thinking Works – just picturing the moments you want to bring to your life can give you a flood of good feelings and, if repeated often, the confidence to move forward with those dreams.)

The best part of this sweet and relaxing practice is that the time you spend picturing positives automatically decreases the time you spend worrying about real or imaginary woes. We so often worry about the worst, why not simply spend a bit more time each day remembering or imagining the best?

Take a deep breath, close your eyes, pull up a chair in your mind, offer the others to those who have made a difference in your life and enjoy your time together!

Feel free to post about who will be sharing your chairs. The more ways you reinforce your thoughts the more positive the impact will be for you. (No need to limit your thoughts to four folks, simply add more chairs – the number, style and setting is your choice, as well.)

PS These lovely chairs and the amazing folks who own them, are an important part of my life and thinking about them always creates a flush of fabulousness for me!  Sharing this photo with you reinforces those feelings and has left me smiling and feeling happy and energized. Go for it. Daydream your way into a summer pick-me-up!

Are you ready to create the life your really want? Start today! 

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Smiles for the summer of 2026

Make the summer of 2018 one of the most memorable of your life.  

Get started by reading the following post, which I wrote and shared eight years ago.  I’ve made a habit of rereading it every year to keep me on track and smiling inside and out. I thought you might enjoy it, as well.

sunset-681749__180Writing and reading it helped me conquer a number of personal fears; experience adventures near and far and to enjoy colorful sunsets, majestic sunrises and quiet afternoons watching leaves dance in the wind. But, best of all, it reminds me to relive and to savor the most touching and heartfelt moments of my life.

I hope it inspires you to explore your dreams and become aware of all the things that make your heart sing. After you give it a read, let me know your thoughts and any plans you have for this summer. (Sharing them in a public way increases the odds that you will actually do them!) My goal is to give you something special to smile about in 2026 when you realize the summer of 2018 was filled with inspiration and joy.  

“Thinking ahead . . .” published on Wishful Thinking Works, May 28, 2010

I never read the obituaries, well practically never, but I have a sister who does, and one morning after I had a wonderful visit with her, I flipped though The Fort Myers News Press and discovered the life of Vera Jane Clapper-Richter.

I don’t know Jane, nor do I know anyone who does, but I liked her immediately.  She is the kind of person I would want as a friend, and the kind Katherine Hepburn would play in a movie.

Jane died at 85 after a struggle with Alzheimer’s, but what struck me is not her death, but how she lived, which I quote, except for the links I added:

She was born July 6, 1924 to Maurice and Elizabeth Stover Teasdale in Brownsville, PA. Jane will be remembered for her feistiness tempered by cheery good humor. She was always up for adventure.

In 1960s, Jane, her mother and her daughter could be found at 2 a.m. hanging off the “wooden bridge” angling for snook with cane poles. Few snook were caught, but much beer was drunk.

Janie married “the boy next door,” Bob Clapper, in 1941 in Arlington, VA. They made it through the war years and, like everyone else, started a family. By 1951, they were ready for sunshine and fishing. After a brief stay in the Koreshan trailer park in Esterothey settled in Fort Myers.

Bob worked as a surveyor and civil engineer for Carl Johnson in Fort Myers and Cap Prewitt in Clewiston and Jane dived into community activities. She taught local Red Cross first aid classes, was Lee County Chairman of the Gray Ladies and worked with Veronica Shoemaker in the first Head Start program in Dunbar. Her pride and joy was her Girl Scout Troop 29, which she led from Brownies in 1954 until the girls graduated from Fort Myers Senior High School in 1965. She taught them outdoors skills and wilderness survival. Protective of her girls, she once used a flashlight to fight off a wild hog that tried to take over their Fisheating Creek campsite. The hog fled squealing back into the woods.

After Bob’s death, she pursued her dream of investing in real estate, buying and managing several rental properties, then married Clarence Richter, a retired federal air traffic controller, in 1983. She and “Ric” were active in the local chapter of the National Association of Retired Federal Employees and Save Estero. Ric died in 2005.

She was a friend of Bill W. for more than 30 years and will be remembered by the old timers at YANA. She’ll also be remembered by her pals on Memory Lane at Park Club assisted living, her home for the last few months, for her sweet helpfulness, lovely singing voice and fashion flair. On her, even at 85, a paper sack looked like Prada . . . Jane was predeceased by her two sisters.  She is survived by her daughter, grandson and granddaughter, both of whom helped care for her in her later years.

I hope this is not too morbid for you, but I think Jane’s obituary reflects a well-lived life, and whoever wrote it obviously loved and admired her.  Reading it got me thinking – ahead.

I decided that I am going to live my life for my obituary.  I wish I had thought of starting at the end and working backwards sooner, I would have been nicer, more courageous and much more interesting, and would not now be faced with having to cram so much stuff into so little time.  :-)

The reason I am bringing this up now, is summer is on our doorstep.  I know it doesn’t officially begin for almost a month, but when I was growing-up Memorial Day signaled the beginning of summer, and I think summer is a great time to begin fully living the life I want.

This summer I will watch the moon rise and set from a mountain or a rooftop without interruption, or at least from my backyard with a really good friend.  I will also watch the sun rise and set at least two days in a row, and I will run through a sprinkler.

I will sleep on a front porch or a patio, in a tent or on a beach, and with the windows open more often.  (Yes, I know, it will be hot and sticky, and maybe I will sweat and the bugs may bite – but who cares, I will have more stories to tell and the teeny-tiny scars to prove them.)

I will spread more blankets out in the grass, and spend more time looking up at the trees, day dreaming and listening to the thoughts and wisdom of people under the age of 10.

I will ponder theories large and small – relativity, the chicken or the egg – without worrying about the answers.

I will be kinder and gentler; listen more and speak less; give more hugs, and send more hand-written notes.  I will give people what they want, not what I think they need.

I will read more books, light more candles, and sing out-loud more often.

If you are in the mood to join me, please do.  Summer is a great time to be a bit more courageous about being us.

This weekend find your sleeping bag, your bike, your racquet or your glove, your paint brushes and easel, the book you have been meaning to read or paper and pencil to begin the one you have been meaning to write.

Open an ice-cold beer or bottle of Coke, pour yourself a tall glass of sangria or lemonade, sip it slowly or with gusto, and then get started on the rest of your life.

Do what you think Jane might do.  Or better yet, what you would do, if no one was watching, or if they were and you didn’t mind – not one little bit, which come to think of it, might be exactly how Vera Jane Clapper-Richter lived.

The rest is all up to you, go for it.

Are you ready to create the life your really want? Start today! 

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Monday morning musings

Don’t let a single moment define you

Two ways to live your life

The Parable of the Arrow

arrow-1557462_960_720A man was walking through a forest, when suddenly seemingly out of nowhere, an arrow pierced his thigh.  He felt a sharp pain.  Then, immediately following he felt anger. The thought quickly came. Where did the arrow come from?  Who shot it?  I’m going to find him.  He must be punished.  He finally pulled the arrow out of his leg. Gradually the physical pain went away and the wound healed.  His anger continued for days.  His thoughts of anger and frustration reoccurred for the rest of his life.

Another man was walking through a forest. When seemingly out of nowhere, an arrow pierced his thigh.  He felt a sharp pain. He took out the arrow and continued walking. The wound healed.

Adaptation from a Buddhist Teaching

How do you want to live?  The choice is always yours.

Choose wisely.

Are you ready to create the life your really want? Start today! 

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Are you on Ego-matic pilot?

ego (2)At our Wishful Thinking Women gathering this weekend we were talking about “taming” our egos. Because of ego influence, I think many folks believe that change is often too hard to even attempt. We believe that we must live according to the whims of our egos and this ego-inspired belief is what keeps us stuck in a permanent state of ego-matic pilot making change seem difficult or overwhelming.

In a state of ego-matic pilot, we throw away or delay the possibility of love, our dreams, losing weight, going to college, getting a better job, being the kind of Mom, Dad, wife, husband, friend or colleague we want to be and so much more. We think it is all too hard for us to attain, or maybe worse, that we don’t deserve the fulfillment or happiness those changes may bring.  In ego-matic mode we create explanations and excuses to support our negative perspectives and then use them as justification for our personal pity parties or our failed prospects and attempts.

I don’t believe we need to tame our egos, they are just another part of us, but I do believe we can calm them and neutralize their perceptual stranglehold on our actions and emotions through awareness, acceptance and fulfillment.

Here is my Wishful Thinking Works plan for releasing yourself from ego-matic pilot:

  1. The first step is belief in the possibility that living a happy, fulfilled life is easier than we think. (Just like Dorothy discovered in the “Wizard of Oz”, perhaps you have always had the power!)
  2. The second step is an openness to new options and opinions. (Don’t be afraid to change, an evolutionary outlook and approach to life is not only energizing it can be deeply rewarding.)
  3. The third is awareness in the moment and of the world around us. (Time spent noticing our thoughts or paying attention to the beauty around us, rather than listening to the never-ending ego appraisal going on in our minds, is always time well spent.)

EX: The next time you start beating-up on yourself for eating too much or too little; saying too much or too little; doing too much or too little, etc., etc.  – STOP, take a deep breath and tell yourself “I love you, I love you for this choice and all the others you have made in your life. I will accept you as you are this very minute.” Take one more deep breath, exhaling slowly.

This simple, momentary change of thought and heart yields tremendous power. It not only pulls you out of your negative auto/ego-matic pilot, it signals the brain to release a more relaxing set of chemicals and hormones and offers you what we all need more of – love and support – thereby increasing the possibility you will be more open to seeing, feeling and sharing love and support with yourself and others in the future. Try it, and repeat it every time you slip back into any negative auto/ego-matic thinking!  (I know this will be a change for you, so please re-read Steps 1 & 2 and then repeat as necessary.)

Please note: If you were beating-up on yourself for having said or done something to someone that hurt them now is a good time to apologize, and if your ego-matic mind ramps-up to dissuade you, repeat Step 3, and then go for it. Here are some tips on apologizing to help you out. 

knot-252096_960_720Don’t tie yourself or your life up in knots thinking change or life is too hard. Don’t hide from hope, don’t turn your back on possibilities and please, no matter how many times life knocks you down, believe better is possible.

If you find yourself flat on your back, emotionally or physically, don’t worry about jumping right back up, simply take a deep breath, let a feeling of peace wash over you, repeat the words in quotes in Step 3 and then relax knowing better days are ahead.

Are you ready? Life could be better  . . . Wishful Thinking Works Life Coaching

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Love this quote

pyramids“The world will tell you there are pyramids you must climb to feel successful. Pay no attention. Your life’s joy isn’t at the apex of a pyramid. It comes from a well of creativity that flows from your very center.”                Martha Beck

I learned a long time ago that I did not have to get the highest grade, hold the highest position or trek the highest mountain to truly enjoy life.  I embraced the journey as my reward and the peaceful moments along the way as my true north star.

Be easy on yourself this weekend, work in moments for being not doing and do not run from the messages that may bubble to the surface. Treasure them for they will lead you to your true self and provide a path to the life you really want.

 

 

Your life is your once in a lifetime opportunity!
Are you ready to create the one you really want?

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